Wednesday 01/18

Bedazzling bug returned. 

Turned this:

into this: 

For a classmate who appreciate the art of decodden hope she likes it!

Thursday 01/19

In an attempt to compensate for the past two days of pure procrastination, I woke up early on Thursday to get a head start on my day. Only to find that we have no water and that our plumbing is busted!

I couldn't pass off showering as I had my practicum in the afternoon, not to mention that since I have done nothing but sleep, I essentially haven't been the most hygienic person the past couple of days. Annoyed but left with no choice, I was dropped off to my god-mother's house to impose upon their shower stall. 

Which resulted me in being late. I hadn't wanted to take advantage of them anymore than I had to, since I already used their washroom, and even though god mother promised me a ride to the train, I didn't push it. 

Rough morning. Good thing the afternoon went without a hitch! 

In the evening, I met with Mother and her friend/coworker; they were having Korean food and I was hungry. After having dinner, Mother and I headed to the mall. Earlier on, as she was dropping me off to God Mother's, she had noticed that I didn't have proper winter footwear and had felt bad, so then she took me shoe shopping unexpectedly. 

It was actually quite a long day. As long as it has been for me in a while anyway. I still had a few errands to ran after dinner and the mall. Which included going to the library,  another mall, Staples, and to the god mother's house respectively. 

It turns out that the plumbing will not be fixed that day. So I came home to this. Luckily, my mom is friends with the sweet neighbours. Their blessed souls allowed us to take some water from them to fend us through the next couple of days. I couldn't help but find a sort of sardonic humour in this. It reminded me of the days when we were back in the Philippines and running water isn't really that accessible. I hadn't realize how much I take this privilege for granted. Now I have been reminded as I have been unable to perform simple things the past 24 hours. 

Friday 01/20 

Having known that we would be waterless for the next few days, I'd already contracted the Babilonia's the night before to utilize their shower stall.  

I came bearing nourishment to excuse my being thick skinned.

 

I literally let myself in as CB left their front door open. Once I was inside I was at a lost as to what to do; the house was quiet and seemed empty at 7AM. But I had to be thicker since I have to be back home with the van asap

** dear Babilonia's I really hope you don't mind that I took a few pictures in/of your washroom

These "towels" doesn't cover much does it? hehehhe

No offence but, as much as I really, from the deepest bottom of my heart, appreciate that they let me impose upon their washroom at such an early time in the morning, the last place I would want to be in, had there been a psychopathic murderer that is coming after me, would be in their residence. Their doors doesn't lock, and for some reason, I had a slight bout with paranoia and as I was soaping myself, a sudden image of me being attack popped in my head ala Psycho like 

But I could only hope to look that fabulous dying in that unfortunate scenario.

Though, I have to admit, that drawer is a pretty clever contraption. 

That's my Friday so far,but hey it's only 9:30AM, hopefully no more of these unwanted surprises though

 

 

-Elle Are Emm

Saturday 01/14

We finally got some decent snow! 

Now it's feeling more  like Christmas -_________________-

Sunday 01/15

Spent the whole day and afternoon, asleep cuddling Aso. 

Nothing new there.

In celebration of Baby Bill's birthday the day before,  and my parents 23rd happy and strong marriage this day, we headed out for dinner after church. Although, daddy just had to be with us in spirit since he is away working. 

It was Baby Bill's pick for the night, so we headed to get some Vietnamese noodles at Pho

 

Chicken Pho, avocado shake and summer roll

Fan Fact:  I am actually allergic to sea food, and it doesn't matter cause I care very little for them. For some reason though, I could never pass up summer roll. They're so darn delish!

 Monday 01/16

 Though it snowed the whole weekend, it was pretty much gone by the time Monday rolled around. At least in Surrey and New Westminster anyway. Apparently it was practically snow storming -a bit of an exaggeration of course- 45 mins away. I felt really excluded especially because I had school the whole day.

No matter though, it was really just a semi large quiz in the morning and a lecture with one of the most intelligent man I've come across with, in the afternoon. He was also particularly entertaining in the afternoon as he discuss, within the lecture context, of his frequent experience with gallstones and morphine shots. Apparently, the pain, which is very comparable to child birth, is made worth it by the morphine shots, hence he actually looks forward to the excruciating moments when he could pass stones. 

A curious thing happened to me on my short walk from the train to school. I don't know if it had to do with the partially cloudy, frigid winter day made especially brighter by the scattered snow, but as I was stepping down the stairs of the train station, my mind wandered, making me have a short day dream on how my life would be like had my family not immigrated.

And I couldn't. I literally couldn't imagine how my life -how I would- be different. For some reason, this gave me a highly overwhelming sense of gratitude for everything that I have, for everything that I am, and for everything that I am about to become. 

It was calming. I haven't felt that much at peace with myself in a while.

 

After class, with DP, I was finally able to head over to Michaels Arts and Crafts that has been mentioned and recommended to me by everyone I'd ask about arts supply store. I have never in my life had heard of this store before, I felt slightly ignorant. 

Being in the store sparked a creative energy in me that I could never release since I don't have any kind of outlet; I am not creative in any way at all. 

From Michaels, to Dollar store, to Tim Horton's, to two different Shoppers Drug store, 6 hours passed by just like that. 

The night ended with finally receiving my statement from the student loan. I've known for a long time how much I'm about to owe the government and though I should feel like I'm deeply invested in my program, 95% of my being refuses to. It has largely to do with the fact that I am not in "real", working life and though I am not in anyway, a cash machine, I also do not have any monetary responsibilities since I live off my parents. 

Hence Thirty four thousand and seven hundred eight dollars  seem just like numbers written on paper to me. 

I really need a sense of responsibility. 

Tuesday 01/17

This:

and piano lesson is how my Tuesday looked like

 

Yeahp...

 

--Elle Are Emm

Monday 01/09

This is actually my only "packed" day of the whole week. Packed meaning I have a full day of school, both of which are technically review classes. 

Of course I have not been utilizing my time well. 

Instead of reviewing, I do shit like this: 

What the hell is wrong with me?

Now I'm getting nervous.

I just realized that as short as my weeks are, I made it shorter this week by skipping 1/2 class Monday morning, opted out to walk Aso instead...

Plus have some breakfast....

I was supposed to have my first ever piano lesson in the evening, but the instructor got his days mixed up; he had meant Tuessday instead. 

On the wee hours of the night, after spending the rest of the evening sleeping, I sneaked out the van to drop off my laptop to the Babilonia's residence; I needed to see if the screen -which is cracked internally- could be salvaged by the techs in KPU.

Going two days without my laptop wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.  

Since I haven't had anything since that morning, I dropped by McD to pick up some late snack for JB and I to enjoy once I get to their house

She had this for me in return. She clearly and undoubtably loves me 

Thank you my sweets. 

 

Tuesday 01/10

This was me the whole day: 

As I had mentioned earlier, I was to have my first ever piano lesson this day. I was more excited and motivated by this than I have ever been by anything else; even by the fact that I'm almost finished school.

I've always had a complex about not having any special talent, had I the choice music would have been something I would have exposed myself at a young age. I can't even begin to express myself how much I've always wanted to learn the piano. 

Yes,  I could have thought myself especially since I've had a keyboard collecting dust for a few years now. But mixed with laziness, I have always been afraid of just failing at something I've wanted so bad for so long that I hardly put in the effort to even try. 

I'm weak. 

I was somewhat discourage that I'm just starting to learn now at such a late age, and I've envied prodigies to the core of my being, but I am here now and that is all that is important. 

After my lesson, I was supposed to catch a movie with DP in the evening, but she had fallen asleep, so I invited mother dear instead. Finally got around to watch Mission Impossible IV.  It was pretty amazing in that very shallow, all-stunts-and-visual-effects, spy movie sense. I approve. 

Wednesday 01/11

Another failed attempt at hanging out. Had planned to have dinner with a co-worker only to have her bail the last minute. 

I wasn't annoyed that she cancelled half an hour before our meeting time, though, more so at the fact that I spent the whole day sleeping and literally have not had anything to eat. At this point I was just really famished. 

So, random errands with the mother it was. Including, but not limited to: selling recyclable bottles (easiest 10$ I've ever made), groceries at Hen Long, groceries at Wal Mart (where I found that unnecessary item pictured above. My point being, with taking the picture, is that how much of a sucker I was for infomercials) etc 

Thursday 01/12

Also known as the best day of the year/my life so far

From being able to sleep in, waking up to a beautiful day, having the time to eat, catching the bus to receiving a killer smile from a boy I admire from afar. I don't remember ever having a full day go my way since...ever. 

Life is good indeed.  

In the evening, I was even able to briefly see LG, JB, CB for a brief hang out at my place. Mostly because the night before the ball on my new piercing had fallen out and having it put back would cost me 10$. No!

So I basically told them they had to see me so they could perform a quasi operation on my ear. 

Et voila! (PS: That's not blood, it's an iodine solution of sorts, also it's not infected, keloid scar is starting to build up around the piercing) 

Friday 01/13

Today, it's dawned on me how much I sleep and how much it's starting to interrupt my life.

I am actually not kidding.

Sleeping starts to become a problem when you skip school, eating, hygiene and other various but very important task. 

 

I need to get my shit together

 

 Saturday 01/14

 It's also technically Saturday as it is 12AM. Baby Bill is now officially on his last teen years and I am not officially old. Though it has yet to fully dawn on me that I am now in my twenties. 

 

-Elle Are Emm

 

Sunday 01/01/12

Church then count down with other families

Turn down your volume. You've been warned.

Excuse my big, manly voice, it gets very shrill when I get excited

 

Ended up visiting the Santo's residence to meet their new puppy, Twinkle

Gorgeous gorgeous dog

Headed back to the party and played games, laugh, talk, eat then home

Monday 01/02

Sleeping for the whole two weeks was mighty disorienting, for some reason I had it in my head that it was already the third and that I had things I needed to do.

Turns out that I didn't. So I just slept some more

Tuesday 01/03

Blood test and miscallaneous errands in the morning/afternoon.

Then hang out with Ms. TR in the evening

We had dinner at Bubble 88 then headed to watch Mission Impossible 4. Actually we came too late so we purchased a ticket for MI4 but snuck in GWDT with the intention of killing time to catch the next MI4. Since TR hasn't seen GWDT we ended up staying.

We had hot bubble tea afterwards since it was chilly.

 

Wednesday 01/04

I honestly don't remember what I did on this day. Hence, I most likely just slept

 

Thursday 01/05

First day of practicum. I get to work with pregnant ladies for a few weeks. It felt weird being literally back on my feet and off my back/bed.

I was slightly worried that I wouldn't make it there on time since I had to transit and I didn't know where it was. Luckily, I'd ran into a few classmates who where heading the same way.

It's so awkward. After all this time, I really just don't have any common ground with these people

Since practicum ends relatively early, and my student loan came through, I headed to the mall to do a very compulsive -albeit planned- shopping. It was planned because all of my purchase I had wanted to a while, compulsive because I shouldn't have purchased them right then and there. No regrets though.

 

Famished. Poutine on the go!

TR was working that day so she gave me mango shake for free!! I love hookups!

 

I couldn't resist buying this! It was all on the packaging! So retro and classy!

I've always wanted a tea set! Now I have it!

Friday 01/06

First day back (for me) to classes. For some reason the one and only class for the day, which was supposed to be in the afternoon, was moved in the morning. Morning? What on earth is that?

So then I was about to be late and I couldn't really afford to be, so I called a cab.

Stupidest waste of money ever!

The class that I had that day was the class of all class. It will comprehensively and accumulatively  test the "knowledge" that we have after 2-3 years of being in school.

I fell sick, I want to throw up. I can't do this

On other news, Aso's been getting a whole bunch of clothes this whole week.

What a brat.

I was also very...hormonal in the evening, made evident by my disheveled appearance. I just hadn't wanted to move from my feotal position from my bed. But little brother and mother called me out on it so I agreed to dine out with them that night.

Saturday 01/07

Weekday, school-mode me decided I was going to work voluntarily at the clinic. Again.

Then, work spontaneously called while I made my way to school asking me to come in. I compromised but for some reason, I prioritize non-mandatory, unpaid, intern work. WHY?!

I had one patient and the rest of the time I spent walking aimlessly around.

In hindsight, I'm glad I did. I'd forgotten everything evidently. Now I think I have to come in every Saturday for more.

After my shift I went to work for a few hours. They had thought they needed me because of some mishap that occured. Turns out they didn't but hey, it was their call.

It was raining and on my way I had to wait for a couple of minutes at the stop lights for the lights to turn so that I could cross. Beside me was an old man with one of those big umbrellas. Out of the generosity - I assumed at the time- of his sweet, old heart, he motioned for me to come under his umbrella. I thought that was sweet and thoughtful of him but I politely declined saying I was only going across the street. As we crossed, I'd noticed that he was walking the same direction, which couldn't be help really because the side walk was only going one way. I felt slightly awkward so I made a detour, thinking I would back track once he was out of sight.

 

When I turned around after a couple of feet though, I saw this man, staring right at me. I was very perturbed to say the least. So I turned to a corner out of his sight. I was so unsettled that I waited a while before walking back. Hoping against all hope that he wouldn't be standing there anymore.

That was the most intense moment of my life.

Again, I was famished so bought dinner before heading home. The funny thing is, now that le father is back to work, I don't ever get to eat rice unless I eat out -_-. Not cool.

At midnight I finally get to do the sister thing: picking up slightly intoxicated little brother. For some reason that made me ridiculously happy.

 

Sunday 01/08

Finally got around to pick up my mail! My bat wing cardigan is finally here! 

Though I should really stop ordering clothings modeled by size 00 Asian girls. It just isn't going to happen for me.

You'd think I would learn my lesson after ordering this sweater:

Ironic too, because all I want is comforable, effortless clothing. How can one be comfortable if the clothes does not fit?

Then church with le mother. Speaking of, as she was getting ready, she'd ask me to braid her hair. It brought back memories when I was younger and she was braiding my hair :')

Incident of the week: Van battery dying; mother and I stuck in the church parking lot. It was cold. And I was hungry and getting aggitated fast.

We're okay now though.

 

Week one: Done

--Elle Are Emm

 

Deuces to the friends that have gone; cheers to the friends I've made; lots of luck and blessings to all. 2011's been fun, but 2012 come at me! 

 

Thursday 12/29

Down time. Kind of nice and refreshing to be able to spend two full days (yesterday and today) doing nothing

Friday 12/30

Ice skating failed! The whole evening I was expecting for JB to drop by so that I could be encouraged to get ready. And while I was waiting, I killed time decoden-ing my cell phone instead.

  

I've known about decoden for a long time now, but my interest was re-sparked recently. I immediately went on ebay and went a little crazy ordering stuff. A couple months later, I finally had all my materials complete. So on this nice sunny winter day

....with the rays of the sun pouring through my window, I spent the entire afternoon transforming my phone from this:

To this: 

In the middle of doing so, I went to seek the approval of my older brother. You see, I would be the first person to admit that I have much more of my fair share of the male testosterone for a female, so in this rare occasion of girlishness, I was looking to share my "creativity". Our conversation went a little something like this

Me: *excitedly* Kuya...kuya. KUYA! Is this pretty? 

Brother: *turns briefly* No. It's stupid

Me: *completely crushed*  You wouldn't understand. 

I never really gave being an only girl a thought much before, but moments like these, I really wish I had another female influence in my life. 

I digress. 

So the whole time I was doing this, I was expecting JB to come, only to receive a phone call to say that she was already there. There was 1.5 hours away, and taking into account that I was still in my pjs..well, lets just say she ended up with a good wait. 

And a good wait it was because I ended up meeting with CB and DP at the mall and grab my first meal of the day that evening. That plus a whole bunch of other shenanigans, which included -but not limited to- an incident involving ice skates and ripped paper bags, buying new paper bag only to have it ripped 2 secs out of the store etc. 

 

We eventually  met up with JB and company at another mall only to grab more food because they haven't eaten yet.

My kind of club 

Wayy too many menus -_________-

Passion fruit tea with half coconut jelly and half pearls

Food was less than mediocre, which was mighty disappointing.

We finished at around 10PM. And ice skating was obviously out of the question at this time. Don't matter, because another plan we had was hookah! 

All this time --actually since early afternoon- we have been fruitlessly trying to contact a hookah cafe that was given to me at the end of the year gathering by a friend's....not boyfriend.  No one had answered the phone until late in the evening, and at this point we weren't sure if we would still go. It had to do with the fact that we had company that may or may not disapprove of our new venture. 

Hafez Tea House 

Persian Tea

So this was the only tea that was on the menu.

Me: Could I have Persian Tea

Server: Well..that's the only tea we have

Me: *thinks* well shit! really? 

I'm glad we'd gone. It was so packed and we were so out of place because it was a predominantly patron by mostly people from the Middle Eastern ( I assume) community. Everyone knew everyone. But I really liked the atmosphere. From the dimmed lights, to the half assed Christmas deco, to the Middle Eastern music and chaotic chatter. We were left to our own vices after we've been served. 

Though would the night be complete without a small mishap? Since this was only our second time visiting such place, we hadn't known how the pricing and ordering worked. Basically, we had underpaid with the blessing of the person behind the til. She obviously could tell that we were newbies, so maybe on the spirit of the holiday, she'd let us off the hook. 

Saturday 12/31

A year and some months ago, I had volunteered for Science World for the Body World  exhibit for a few months. In return, they had gifted me two free passes that was due by the end of the year that I was unable to use. I didn't want it to go to waste so I took CB along. I'm surprised that I actually woke up in time after spending almost two full weeks in hibernation.

 

The path I used to walk Friday evenings from September 2010 to January 2011 

I don't see why we don't frequent places like these. Tourist spots they may be, but to be honest, I don't even know, nor have I been around to see the entirety of this province that I have been inhibiting for close to a decade.  

Last picture of 2011. Headed to Church and a NYE family party. 

 

TBC

 

-Elle Are Emm

This past week, my life basically starts at 7PM it's ridiculous! I'm starting to forget days and I don't think --other than today-- that I've spent a complete full day at home. 

 

Excuse me while I back track my days 

Sunday 12/18

Work Christmas brunch.

Was very infuriating and it was mainly because of me. This year, the owners decided to have it at Sheraton Hotel like they did 3 years ago (??) and three years ago, though I lived literally 5 minutes away from the hotel, I didn't managed to make it to the dinner. Not because I didn't go, but because I'd missed the fact that there were two receptions: 1 for the hotel and 1 for the restaurant. I'd asked the hotel reception and they failed to tell me where my party was. Of course with my luck, everyone just happened to have their mobile devices off, or they were enjoying the party too much that they weren't picking up my calls. Anyhow, this year I was an hour late. This is also probably the reason why I may or may not work for this office anymore. I'm 80% sure that I don't, because this year, I was the only one who didn't get a bonus. 

This is what I received for our Secret Santa. I love books, and I want to experience working at a library once.

In the evening, after church, I had dinner with CB, LG, DP at Wings. DP slept stayed over. We didn't actually get much sleep because we were talking the whole night. I love having her around, I relate so much to her.

 

Monday 12/19

We basically lounged around the whole day and watched a bunch of movies while I fed her whatever what was in my pantry. I don't remember what else happened that day, so it's probably safe to assume that I slept when DP left. Though we were having a party on the Thursday so I think I had a couple visitors dropping off their contribution for the hotel fee. 

Tuesday 12/20

Daddy finally comes home for the holidays. I picked him up at around 1:30 PM from the train. That pink flashlight which is now attached to my key chain is his very random, albeit practical pasalubong  (homecoming present) to me. Of course the brothers got one of their own in variations of colours. Again, due to the party on Thursday, I had more people dropping by in the evening. 

For the remainder of the evening, I watched Sherlock Holmes II with LG, CB, DP. It was pleasantly surprising that the second film surpassed the first, and that says a lot because I am quite a big fan of RDJ and Jude Law; those two men can do no wrong in my eyes. After the film, we ended up in Tim Hortons until the wee hours of the night. 

Wednesday 12/21

Like I said, my days are pretty much spent asleep, and the evening is when I wake up. Babsie had asked me in the evening to accompany her at the mall originally to get my Christmas present. Sadly, what I had wanted ( Play Go fondue fountain set) wasn't available, so we went to see if she can get my brother pj's instead. To call it even though, I'd ask if she would just feed me since I haven't had anything to eat the whole day. We ended up in Bubble World, and I'd order some Thai inspired food, which was surprisingly good. 

I'd received a phone call from the father whilst having dinner that he needed me to pick up margarine from the store nearby. I then found this:

Huge noodle cup, or what I like to call obnoxious mugs. After watching Friends, and seeing countless of episodes where they hang out at the Central Perk sipping their coffee/tea from these gigantic containers,  I've made it my mission to acquire a few of my own. I actually didn't get a chance to purchase the one in the picture, but I must go back for it one of these days. 

Thursday 12/22 

PARTTYYYYYYYY!!!!

It wasn't supposed to start til 10PM, but I had to drop by the work place to pick something up. So when DP arrived at my house, we left at around 6:30PM. In the bus, we'd run into SG (brother's former friend), though we used to be in the same circle, we had a falling out. At first, I didn't know whether I should tell him where we were heading, but I decided for it. After all, it was supposed to be an open invite and I did notify people from his end, when they didn't reply, I'd left it alone. 

So the three of us headed to the hotel. On the way SG and I had fun at the expense of DP, whom although has a few years on me, is probably the most naive person I've had the pleasure of meeting. 

View from our hotel floor. 

I declare this year-end gathering a success despite the slight stress the preparation brought on.

Though I must say, that my group of friends has obviously shifted from what it was from high school to the present. I'd known it was happening as it was happening but the crowd from this party, and the lack of appearance by others just made it that much clearer. The amusing thing is, I don't care as much as I thought I would.

I wish friends from the past good luck, and the friends that I have now more great parties to come!

It was just a bummer that not everyone decided or couldn't stay. At one point in the party, I'd accompany a few guest out of the hotel to get some air and coffee, and by the time I got back half of the people had to go to catch the last train back home.  Bummer 

(Friday 12/23)

Also, by the time the alcohol I'd consumed wore down its effect, I'd realized that I had no place to sleep. So after I'd showered, tidied up, it was high time I leave for home and for my bed. I did leave a note though, so people wouldn't look for me upon waking. 

 

The sun was rising as I headed home. It was strange how everyone was hustling and bustling towards their days' responsibilities, and there I was, looking like a zombie from a night of partying. Well, at least I was in hoodies and jeans, so no walk of shame for this lady 

I did debate whether I should save me the time and take a cab or bus and save money. I'm a broke college student, so taking the bus and saving money won at the end.

It was 1.5 hours later, after leaving the hotel, that I'd finally reached the comfort of my room and the comfort of this cutie. As soon as I lay down though, I couldn't shut my eyes; I guess the commute home kicked my adrenaline into hyper-drive. Counter intuitive really, considering I left the hotel because I wanted to go home so that I could have a place to sleep. I ended up reviewing my text messages left by people to let me know they got home safe. I was quite amazed how many people were already up. 

I eventually passed out, and when I woke up there was a random billiard table downstairs and the event from my last blog took place. 

 

Saturday 12/24

Ever since we lived here, I don't remember having a fun/celebratory Christmas. It used to be the biggest event of my childhood right after New Years. Now, it's just like any other day spent in silence. So yes, after the events of the night before, I spent the whole day asleep until it was time to go to church at the stroke of midnight. 

 

So when we got back, it was time for late dinner and gift opening. This year, like the last, I didn't have a fix source of income so I failed to purchase anything for anyone. I don't really know if that has to do with anything, but during the weeks leading to Christmas, when everyone was busy shopping, I have come to resent what Christmas has become. When did a day that was meant to be spent with loved ones turned into such a materialistic venture? That completely misses the point, does it not? 

Speaking of presents, look at the crap load of chocolate my mother received! 

The hat my baby brother got me. I was genuinely excited upon seeing it. I plan to wear it everyday until the cold weather ends. 

Sunday 12/25

Slept.

In the evening LG dropped off this delectable dessert and promised me 2 free movie tickets. So I had asked DP to accompany me.

 

Yes, we were those losers who watched a movie on Christmas day. No shame though, Girl With A Dragon Tattoo, though highly inappropriate for the occasion, was very much a good film. 

As we were walking to the theater, I'd filled her in on what happened with my brother's friend. For some reason, that very mundane incident bothered the hell out of me, and I just thought that sharing it with a friend will get it out of my mind. It's effect has greatly abated as I thought it would. Her insight had given me a lot to think about. Like always, it was a pleasure talking to her. 

 

After the movie, we headed back to my house and CB with LG made an appearance. As per the last few days, we played billiards, ate and talk. When I couldn't keep my eyes any longer, I left them to their own vices. 

Monday 12/26

JB's BIRTHDAY! 

On behalf of everyone who've left their teenage years, I hereby present you with a hypothetical membership to the 20's club! Live long and prosper my dear. Live long and prosper. 

Dinner at Sammy J's. I'm sorry, but I will never come back to this place again. The food sucks and overpriced. But for the company, it was worth it. 

Headed back to the Babilonias for some delicious cake and movies. 

Tuesday 12/27

Late Christmas present from the God Mother. It actually smells really good. Surprisingly.

She called in sick because her back was hurting. I really though I could get away with not massaging anyone this break but hey, duty calls right? Though I'm ashamed to admit, I did accept her payment with bonus. I have needs, and I didn't want to ask the parents for more money that I already have. 

 

Due to poorly timed phone call from the God Mother, we had to go to le Mother's work place to pick up the van with the massage table inside. So when she was off, I had to pick her up since I had the van. 

I brought Aso along for the ride since I knew mother would take her time. He might just be the only boy in the world who could put up with my eccentricities. Thank you 

CB as a bear. 

Then headed to KB's for some cake. Her father worked for a cakery so he's easily the coolest dad around and they are easily the best neighbour I've ever had. 

Wed 12/28

Slept. Anime. Slept. Anime. Showered. Blogged. 

 

Finally caught up

 

 

-Elle Are Emm

Last night, my older brother decided he was going to have company over for some drinks. He had asked me to invite some of my friends over so I had sent a quick text to the usuals. There really was only him, his girlfriend's brother and two of his co-worker. One of which had attended the same high school as us. 

Anyway, the night ended up in somewhat chaotic state due to my brother throwing an uncalled for punch to his friend's friend that they'd met up down the street. I think they had wanted more company but instead my brother thought he was going to prove his alpha male status and pick a fight instead. 

So they come back, things were settled and the party ended. All while this was happening, my friends and I were enjoying the random billiard that magically appeared in our other living room.  One by one, people drifted off to sleep and I somehow was left with that other friend who went to the same high school as us. He had challenged me to a game of billiard, and though I have zero skills whatsoever, I reluctantly agreed to play. 

It was innocent enough, and his company was quite amusing and enjoyable. We were having a few beers as he was walking and coaching me through the game. It was quite impressive really, he was still kicking my butt hard when he could hardly keep his balance and his eyes open simultaneously.

Throughout the whole night though, he would casually refer to his breakup -which makes me think that it was quite recent-. The frequency of the breakup reference increased as the number of beer we'd consumed increased. He even started referring to non-existent "boyfriend" of mine, saying things like "from your ex?" and things along those lines. Truth be told, I think he was trying to see if I was attached. 

Then, we ended up outside because he needed to check his car (earlier that night, he traded cars with a friend and due to his drunken state he couldn't remember if they traded back) and he wanted to go out for a smoke. This was when things started to get weird.

Disclaimer: With the risk if sounding narcissistic and egocentric, can I just say that no, I do not think highly of myself in any level. It's quite the opposite really. 

With that said, when this guy started to come on to me I didn't really know how to respond. Although, instead of being flattered, red flags were going up in my head. It wasn't like he was being a creep about it, but the manner of which he was conducting himself was a complete disappointment. 

Because it wasn't him that was flirting, rather, it was the alcohol. 

Needless to say, I managed to successfully evade a potentially dangerous and self-destructing situation. Though, to be honest, in the back of my head, I can't help but wonder: "What if?"

But man was I really let down. A realization promptly dawned on me soon after this. See, the thing is --and this has happened on multiple occasions-- I never get hit on, unless alcohol is involved and it's a guarantee that the next day, the guy will not remember a thing. 

Pity party: that is really quite damaging to a girl's self esteem. Granted, objectively, I never saw myself as attractive, but I have never felt so ugly and repulsive in my life. 

You know those passing jokes and pop culture references about distorted perception that comes with intoxication and thus finding every woman passable? Yeah, apparently that's me. 

Surprisingly though, I wasn't offended the next day. It wasn't him, but the drinks that he had that turned him into a big douchey sleaze. He, among with my friends had stuck around for some hang over grub and we even had another go at the billiard (Side note: I IMPROVED!) 

But what do you know though, my brother and him had tried to recall events from last night, his memory stopped just at the moment when he came back in the house. 

Yeahp, on hindsight, that's probably for the best.

 

-Elle Are Emm

You know your among friends 

It seems like forever since I chronicled the mundane activities of my life. 

This was basically me from Monday to Thursday two weeks ago (Dec 12-15)

And me amusing myself and procrastinating. I'm sorry Aso 

Watch for the demonic glare at the end! HAHHA

Study station

Midnight snackage 

How I survived

At least I manage to shower between 

So yes, per my last blog. I passed. And how I know is because in my school they post up the student number of people who were not successful. Voila! my number is no where in sight. 

Time to do some housekeeping. My laundry piled up, dust accumulated and my carpet was filled with my hair.

I was also able to walk my poor neglected dog. I will never get used to my neighbourhood, it always looks so glum and isolated. 

Friday 12/16

To commemorate the passing semester, mother took me out for a small shopping trip

I LOVE  lotions! and I need more plain tee in my life. 

We headed to Nando's  after.

This place confuses me, I don't understand if it's a fast food or a restaurant. Food's good but quite pricey for the serving they have I thought.

For dessert, I joined the ladies in this Greek restaurant in New West. It's such a date spot, the view is super romantic. 

Since I already had dinner, I had drinks and desserts instead. It was pure awesome.

 

Okay, I shall tbc. Need to run!

 

-Elle Are Emm

I learn everything that has to do with romance from Asian dramas. And unlike every other female protagonist, one thing I'm taking away from it is that:

I will never put up with someone who chooses to turn their back and walk away from me. 

Aside from taking pleasure in watching generic romantic comedies, I have no intention in putting myself in a very abusive and manipulative situation. Hell, as much as I enjoy watching it on screen, I don't even find it endearing. 

Reality check: jerks will forever be jerks if they choose too. No amount of female charm, naivete and persuasion can influence that. 

Well, so what if he is rich, tall, handsome, enigmatic, smart, athletic and [insert every other superficial ideal characteristic here] if he will just treat me less than shit?

No, just no. 

Time and again, my mother has advised me to follow her step and to find a man who loves me more than I him. This isn't to say that my mother doesn't love my father. Quite the contrary. She just meant to say that a guy who loves a woman with every fiber of his being is less likely to hurt her. 

This may seem too idealistic, but I can attest to it's realism because I've witnessed, and have continued witnessing it my whole existence. 

It's rare but it's absolutely possible. And that's what makes it rather magical. 

New cellphone Christmas theme is almost making me feel festive. 

So yes, I survived my final exams in a highly questionable manner. I am just holding out for two classes as I have pretty much found out the results of the rest. Truth be told, I do not have high hopes for both results, since for the umpteenth  time, I failed to give it my all. 

This is very disconcerting. 

 A quote posted in the school read "You do not have to be the best, as long as you do your best"  

Part of it is that I'm lazy and unmotivated, but an even bigger reason is that beneath the surface I'm scared. I'm scared that if I put everything I have on anything at all that it won't be good enough.

That I won't be good enough.

All my life I've had an inferiority complex since I never partook in anything special. I was never challenged as a kid and I grew up thinking that this repressed energy may just be a hidden potential. See, up to this day, I still feel the very same repressed energy and I don't know how to channel it. Every so often, I would feel the urge to do something, anything at all, but then I turn back around like a scared dog with her tail between her legs. I just don't know where to start. 

Uncertainties are holding me back.

Excuses are holding me back.

I am holding me back . 

 

-Elle Are Emm

Don't be an asshole, it wouldn't kill anyone to say "Merry Christmas"

That's like, refusing to say "Happy birthday" because you don't share the same birth date. *Sigh*, people sometimes just waste too much energy bending over backwards to accommodate the masses that it's infuriating.

This weekend consisted of study sessions at mi casa. That and growing the thickest skin, going over a friend's house without her present just to get some free cake.

No shame, no regrets. 

 

Honestly,  this madness known as finals has got to stop!

Actually, I just woke up from my too-long-to-be-called-a-nap-but-too-short-to-be-called-sleep and my initial thought was calming. I have been scared shitless these past month for my impending board exam that is not happening until September next year. Regardless, next semester is technically my last, for all intents and purposes. I just know that it's going to be hectic and 100x more stressful. Good thing I don't really let the condition of my skin phase me. With that said, I have had these arresting moments when my heart rate would just shot up the roof and I forget to breathe. But when I woke up, I had realized that I've been at this for 3 years now. I've somehow managed to make it this far, and all I need to know is stored away somewhere in my brain. 

Do or die.

Though,  I still can't help but wish I have the life of a very spoiled, very cuddly, very manipulative cute dog. 

 

 

-Elle Are Emm