When did this generation become so technologically dependent, that not being a part of a social network deprives a person the sense of community and automatically makes one feel left out? Well, I haven't had Twitter, Facebook or Tumblr in over a year. Yes, of course, in the beginning it was difficult, but it's easier now that it's out of my system. Although once in a while, especially lately, I've been reconsidering reopening those accounts. I once saw a comic strip, from Cyanide and Happiness that perfectly describes my situation. Guy A asked Guy B for his Facebook, Guy B said he doesn't have one, in the eyes of Guy A, Guy B started fading ever so slowly. It still makes me giggle at how accurate that metaphor is. Since this semester is ending, maybe if all turns well I will.

-Elle Are Emm

It's almost finished, and of course I have not started studying yet.

Friday: Clinic. The overwhelming sense of ineptitude took me by surprise. Ironic how I felt very helpless finally realizing that there isn't anything productive I can do in the grander scheme of things with people who have Multiple Sclerosis.

Saturday:Tita Beth's wedding. First wedding ceremony I have ever been to, for some odd reason no one recognized me, and it wasn't that I was super dressed, it just goes to show how much time I spend socializing and whatnot. To be honest it was a tad awkward. The guest were mostly coworkers, family members that I do not know and my employers were there. I digress...The beaming bride looked gorgeous, and though the vow was generic and the actual service was short, I still got teary eyed and wished for the day of my marriage to come sooner. But I probably need a boyfriend for that to happen.

Speaking of boyfriend (or not) though I was given the very stressful responsibility of assigning the guest seats, I ended up loosing my spot in the chaos that ensued and ended up being seated with the family of the MC. I guessed that the two adorable halfer babies where hers, but I hadn't realized that the rest (two men) of the party was her family (one being her husband and the other her younger brother). Of course, I folded in on my self due to my debilitating self consciousness with introductions due to my given name, but as soon as the younger brother reached over to introduce himself, I got over it and proceeded to make small talk with the rest. I didn't really do much other than eat, I spent the afternoon basically playing with the two adorable babies who were on their uncle's lap. Hence, by association, I was also associating with the uncle. On our way to the parking lot, having hitched a ride with another tita, she very non-casually mentioned that I would make a good pair with the uncle (who must be in his mid/late twenties) in front of my mother. Now, I would have just smiled, but my mom, being a very Asian mother proceeded to take the joke further and in turn very non-casually started picking on this man's appearance. Now, someone explain to me, why would she think this is necessary. I know it was supposed to be in jest, but she--or anyone else for that matter- have no right. I am in no way in hell the best looking girl out there, so maybe I wouldn't be a good fit for this man (in theory since nothing is going on between this one time acquaintance I made) nor is she in her "prime" as she would always like to point out. She even took the joke further and again, very non-casually mentioned to my father that I have a boyfriend who has [insert physical imperfection here]. My dad, bless his soul, is only slightly concerned about the age difference, however the talk of his full on support started to get ridiculous, even with his good intentions since  I REALLY DO NOT KNOW THIS MAN and NOTHING is going to happen in the present or FUTURE! Regardless, I found my mother's condescending manner towards this man's physical appearance extremely rude and I did not miss a beat to point out that she isn't a super model. I think she got the hint because she took a moment to actually praise this man and his family's success and accomplishment (mother dear is a good acquaintance of his parents)

Sunday: Procrastination made me go kayaking with AA and MF in main. The day was actually nice (DAMNATION TO LYING WEATHER NETWORK!). We headed off to Tio Pepe's afterward for some Mexican grub, but it was intimidatingly full so we went next door to a fancy looking Indian restaurant (which we had originally wanted to have anyway). The ambiance was perfect but the lack of guess had me concern. I was disproved when our very omnomnomnable food came. My taste buds and stomach has given this restaurant a seal of approval!. Had a pleasant walk with Aso when I got home. And now I'm just procrastinating further with this blog. Oh yeah, my phone may or may not be broken (NOOOOOO!!!) I got it wet trying to get ready quickly before AA picked me up. You see, I had already decided I wasn't going until she called. Damnation again.

-Elle Are Emm

Before I get to the heavy ranting stuff, I'd like to take a moment and recall the past few days:

Friday last week was busy and tiring, I ended up covering a double shift for my practicuum and though I have never seen that many patients before (7 successive ones) I wasn't as exhausted as I thought I would be. That is after I went to bed and had a massive leg calf cramp.

Saturday we saw Daddy off to the airport to leave for Calgary. Now, I have been afraid to even breathe about this as I firmly believe that I am a jinx. Even now that he has made it safely there, I still have my fear and uncertainties. Regardless, I'm just happy that now he has renewed hopes, we have renewed hopes. It's just strange not having him around this time, I honestly don't remember feeling this odd longing for my father the last time he left. Daddy, take care, good luck and know that we love you.

Now on to the ranting...

I fucked up again.  I have a very strong feeling that I was not successful in one of my classes that I took the finals for yesterday. It scares me and though I try not to stress out, there has been plenty of moments since yesterday that ceases my breath and fills me with this horrible, paralyzing dread. Like now. No, I did not try my very best so yes,  I deserve what's coming. It still doesn't stop making me wish that I feel anything but this destructive nervousness. I feel like I'm going to faint and throw up simultaneously. I just want to curl up in an obscure dark corner, cover my ears and  close my eyes until this is all over. But, I'm a big girl   and like it or not, there's a cacophony of music to face, it's not melodic but it still has to be faced.

-Elle Are Emm

http://ca.shine.yahoo.com/celebs-higher-rates-divorce-040000416.html 

That is the second article I've read the last two years stating that Massage Therapists belongs to a category of jobs that has high divorce rate. Why? What's wrong? This doesn't make sense, we are supposed to be kind, nurturing people of the health care community. Moreover, we are also supposed to be our own boss and regulate our own working hours if we so choose.

In other news, EFF THESE MOSQUITO BITES MAN! it itches like a mother fff! So much for thinking that I was invincible to those blood sucking beast! Below is a picture of me covered in charcoal poultice (supposed to help with bites, stings etc) I felt like a dalmatian even though I'm no where close to being white.

-Elle Are Emm

Had the most fun Thursday evening I've had in a long while at the Aquino's, both with the usual, some people I haven't seen and some people I didn't know. I would say that I'm about due for a fun night, however, although I haven't gone out in a while, I'm not entirely deserving of it even when I did just finish one part of a two part final. I'm just loosing both productivity and motivation simultaneously as usual *sigh*

I haven't actually had that much to drink since last year, but I was in control last night so I don't feel guilty.

Best prevention from hang-over? Walking home in the very warm early morning, no sleep and a nice warm shower as well as accidentally grazing a bit of acne medication near the eye.

Off to camping now.

-Elle Are Emm

I remember those weekends fresh out of high school, when everyone was just in the brink of legality, how we would have these raging house party, literally every weekend. At the time it felt repetitive, now however, merely two years later, I'm starting to reminisce to those days.

Today was also my last day in Hydro rotation, I was all alone and though I wasn't booked up, it got busy. Went to the night market with the siblings, babsie and the uncle after, since the uncle is heading back to Alberta after his four day visit. I haven't seen him in 8 years or so. It's nice that his presence was still really familiar.

Between adorable puppies, night market food (especially my Taiwanese Wheels) and finally getting a flask, my night was so complete that I may have cried from happiness. There was a summer bbq gathering at the Aquino's which I fully intended to skipped out, but on people's incessant text I gave in and drop by. Saw a few faces that I haven't seen, all in all it was fun. Maybe the fact that I don't see any of those people on the regular made it more interesting.

Gotta get some zzz's, have to go to school tomorrow Hopefully I get stuff done.

-Elle Are Emm

Since I've already accomplished my summer to-do list. To be fair though, there has only ever been one thing on it: kayaking.Yes, that's as active and outdoorsy as I'm ever going/willing to get. I love love love kayaking. I fell in love with it at 12 years old when my grade 7 class went to class. Regrettably, I've only ever been kayaking three times (including yesterday).

KR, MF, TR and I met at Mcdonalds to have breakfast for the road, unfortunately we were a little too late, so whilst we waited for DV, KK and my brother, we went to Timmy's instead. We then drove to Deer Lake in Burnaby.Thank heavens the weather cooperated with us, it was such a nice, beautiful, hot summer afternoon perfect for the day's activity.  After a short walk around the lake's trail we headed back to Surrey to have Mexican late lunch at an obscure part of the neighbourhood. Feeling spent, and anticipating soreness from the day, we each headed to our respective homes.

I was feeling unusually domesticated and cleaned the bathroom, my room and started my pile of laundry. To top that off, motivation kicked and I actually exercised for the first time in months! However, I think the gods of fitness gave up on me since I managed to break the treadmill as I attempt to interval train. To be fair though, it is a hand me down. So then I shifted my attention to an ab workout dvd, even that managed to lag and refused to play properly *sigh* hey at least nobody can say I didn't try.

-Elle Are Emm 

I don't quite know where to peg this obscure feeling on. I would honestly like to say that its from my hectic school schedule but that would be one big joke. See, ever since I can remember, nothing has stand out from my life very much. One day just blends right into the next then BAM! 1,2, 3, 4, 5 years has passed and I have nothing to show/recall from it. It's getting quite disarming. 

What am I doing with my life?

-Elle Are Emm

Just finished (most) of my first rounds of midterms. It's been the longest three weeks to say the least. Highlights include having a very late birthday dinner to Richmond with WT, TR, KR, LE and spending a Saturday studying at SFU until 6 A.M. I need to sleep. To be honest though, I think I tired myself out towards the end, I'm honestly scared to see my test results.

-Elle Are Emm

Because you know I have that Midterm I have to pass.

Thoughts:

-*While looking for a spot* Danng, its Saturday these people need a life -_________-

-Why does the washroom have more available electric plugs?

-Why is the washroom MUCH MUCH warmer?

-I should have bought more snacks

-These people in a room across from my cubicle need to do two things: SHUT THE FUCK UP and SHUT THE FUCKING DOOR! >:(

-Elle Are Emm