Or does it really matter? 

Day is off to a good start. Here's my to done list so far:

[x] Woke up early (6 am)

[x] Walked the dog

[x] Washed the dog

[x] Ate a meal

[x] Dropped off the mother

[x] Got gas

[x] Deposited mother's check

[x] Cleaned the rabbit's litter

[x] Fed the rabbit

[x] Washed the dishes

[x] Rebooked blood donation appointment

[x] Did the laundry

[x] Made bed

[x] Cleaned up room

 

BOOM! and it's only 11:25 AM. I haven't felt this accomplished in a while 

 

-Elle Are Emm

 

Pressure is on for me to finish   start on this god forsaken paper that I must do for school. But I don't even want to talk about that. 

Instead of sharing my irrelevant few days, there is actually something I want to blog about. I don't want to -nor should I- make any excuses for the following statement: I want to be healthy. Sure, loosing weight would be nice too, but first and foremost, I just want to start living a semblance of what we, as humans, are meant to back in our ancestral days. 

To be honest, I'm quite hesitant to put this thought in writing, because in doing so, I feel as though it's a manifesto with which will hold me responsible. And quite frankly, I am just too damn lazy with no self-discipline. I joke about that, but as I am getting older, I don't think it's acceptable to be joking about a serious matter such as health, and it's about damn time I get my shit together and  practice  learn some self discipline, may that be health, school, financial etc. I need to learn responsibilities, time management and all things adults are supposed to know. 

Another thing that held - and as a matter of fact, still holding me back- is that I LOVE food and as irrational as it is, I'm afraid that choosing the healthy lifestyle might/will hinder and limit my food choices. Sure, I want less flab and more muscle mass, but I also don't want to be so caught up with being/staying healthy that I've forgotten to live and enjoy the finer things in life. I know; moderation is key, I just have to put it in practice.

 

To get started, I just downloaded 2 apps on my tablet; one to keep track of my diet, the other to keep track of my exercise. Let's just see how this will turn out. 

 

 

-Elle Are Emm

I sit here in the dark, listening to old tunes in Youtube as I ponder about the meaning of life  

JAY KAY.  Here's my October so far

 

October 1

Having the greatest weather we've had in a while especially for an October. Picked up a book from VPL downtown, then DC birthday in the evening where I amused myself a little too much by playing with Doobie the Golden Retriever and not so much with Taco the chihuahua; his face kind of scared me to be honest. 

 

October 4

Late dinner plus stargazing with MF in a park, near an elementary school, by my house, for her astronomy assignment. Wasn't cold and creepy at all. 

Also told her of night before when I was browsing through my old blogs, and found a post about a best friend that I had at that point in time. To this day, for the life of my, I still can't remember to whom that blog refer. Makes me sad really, from the brief post, this person seemed to be important to me at the time.

October 5

KS with Aso. Had Boston Pizza delivered, at the house, watched a whole bunch of movies and naps at the house with this lady.  I later dropped her off in the evening after a quick extremely last minute,  run at the mall to buy wire cubed shelves to turn into a rabbit condo for Ulam.

Daddy is home again for a couple of days. He finally helped me build the cage after hearing me struggle. My hero . 

Nothing, nothing can beat our DIY projects together.  Though I did something very terrible when the next day, the mother asked me to move the cage upstairs and out of the way as she was having company over. As we were having a hard time manoeuvring the cage through the doorway, Bill being his impatient self , grabbed it and made it slightly fall apart. See, at this point, I was already aggravated and exasperated that moving the cage should be such a struggle, so I snapped, grabbed the entirety of the cage, forgot the effort and the previous sleepless night, and promptly hurled it outside. Yeah, at 20 I still throw tantrum fits.

 

October 6

I honestly didn't feel like associating with people since I was in such an awful mood. I was surprised that the parents, though incessant that I clean up my mess, was not very firm about it. You might be wondering where the rabbit was as all this was happening, well, as a joke I had meant to very temporarily leave it inside a pillow cage. Well, I hadn't wanted to come near her because I was afraid that at my mood, I might do something more horrible that I will very  much regret. So there, I left her in the pillow case far longer than I would like to admit. 

 

Needless to say, I holed up in my room the whole day and afternoon, until the friends came over. Yes I had extended an invitation earlier but I really didn't want to deal with anyone at that point. Impatient I may be, but my parents didn't raise me to be rude, so I sucked it up and eventually opened my bedroom door. 

Very misleading Halloween costume.

This is how we spend Saturdays. 

Without a fail, LG, CB, DP took over my bed again, what was I to do but keep myself busy through the night. In the middle of doing nothing in particular, after my parents finished cleaning up and was heading to their room, it became apparent that my father was drunk. Here was when his disappointment in my earlier action came through as he tried to convey his drunk emotions through slurred words. I had to suppress tears from spilling over my eyes, because as comedic as he was acting, it still hurts me that I had disappointed him by acting childish and making him think that I had disregarded his help and efforts from the night before.  The ironic thing is, after this talk, I had tried to regroup all the materials that had been scattered throughout the house and lost my temper yet again when I was coming up unsuccessful. Anyway, I eventually got started with rebuilding the cage, but left it partially done when I ran out of materials. 

 

October 7

Woke up to the three shuffling around. Chatted, had some form of breakfast, then split up, CB and LG to their respective homes, DP and I to gather more supplies for my cage. 

You know your father has a hang over when: he asks you to drive to get noodles. He held up pretty well; he honestly didn't even look hang over. Then THIS happened:

That's my father, outside of the bank, bent over and puking his guts out. From that, it escalated to this:

Then this:

yeahhhppp

 

Best noodles hands down. The tea, not so much. 

By the time we finished eating, my father finally had life back into him. Ahh, alcohol 

We got home, and after a few hours, I was finally able to put the rabbit condo back together again. Some adjustments are still need to be made before I can be happy with it. Also, I need to think up a solution on what to do when it starts to pour and snow. 

Church in the evening, then early Thanksgiving dinner. Which I didn't have because this is what my parents decided to serve:

Delicious you say? Well all I see is death trap. I might have already mentioned this one-too-many-times, but I am allergic to seafood. Not all seafood, though everything on this table; a small, tiny  detail my parents seems to ALWAYS forget. True, my allergy is not severe, but it's enough to deter me from consuming certain seafoods. This dinner was very disheartening to me and I felt very neglected and excluded, not to mention hungry. After taking obligatory family photos for my mom to post on Facebook, I expressed my disappointment quietly and headed upstairs.

I had a bout with middle child syndrome. 

 

They felt bad and asked me to order pizza, even some monetary bribe that my broke ass refused because; it's not about being hungry, it's about sending a message. Sure I gave in hours later, but it was still sad that I had Tim Hortons as  my Thanksgiving meal while everyone else was well fed.

Speaking of, my night actually got better when the Tita/manager gifted me this secretly. I had been coming back for weeks just to try this out of a friend's recommendation but they always seem to not have it when I'm there. 

 

October 8

My mom: the overly enthusiastic tourist. 

In light of the events last night, I feel that my mother allowed me this spontaneous Seattle trip with LG and bros, JB, CB, DP, out of pity. But hey, who am I to complain?

 

We left around 7 am. Headed to Tukwila for Jollibee then back to Tulalip outlet for some shopping.

Shameless confessions: I enjoy Chow King more than I do Jollibee

We know how to have fun. 

 

October 8

Job interview for a seasonal position. Wouldn't hire me if I were them

I wasn't aware that it was a group interview, nor of the fact that one is supposed to bring a copy of their resume and cover letter to give to the employer. I was debating with myself, but then I thought that it wouldn't make sense for them not to already have a copy of my resume when they've already obviously seen it. 

It's strange how simultaneously vast and tiny the world is. During my job interview, there was a younger girl there that had attended the same high school I did. I think we may even had played in the same band. I hadn't really talk to her then because we each have our own group of friends. I recognize her face but wasn't sure of her name, but out of mutual companionship, and to pass time, we managed to hold conversation while waiting for the interview to start. We even walked around the mall, and supermarket afterwards.

I even bought us some frozen treats, and she gave me discount on some rabbit supplies that I bought at her workplace which we visited. 

 

October 9

Watched Taken 2 with the family minus the dad. Then late dinner at Boston Pizza since it was the only place open.

Was so hungry that when I was skimming the menu, my eyes decided to skip over the listed "shrimp" ingredient. 

But I think I've got my dislike for seafood figured out. See, to me, shrimp, lobster and crabs are not only a hassle to eat for the most part, it's also frequently tasteless, plus to me, it has no substance. Meaning, when I bite down on it, it feels like nothing in my mouth. I don't know if that makes sense, but that's the only way I could describe it.

 

During dinner, we got into a heated argument about my father's desire to help out his side of the family. This isn't exactly new, and the fact that everyone else seems to favour my maternal side of the family is also not a secret. See, I get their reasoning, and I know where both of my siblings and mother are coming from. But to me, I choose to ignore my father's family's flaws and shortcomings for my dad's sake. So I support his decision throughout. I think a compromise is in order to settle this matter though. 

 

-Elle Are Emm

 

 

 

Guilty pleasure confessions: I think it's time I come out and say it. As much as I would deny it if any one asks in person, I enjoy watching/reading and subsequently annoying myself arguing with corny, cheesy, implausible and beyond improbable plotted movies/books. This just became startlingly clear when, the other day, searching for particular pictures for my recent blog post, I reactivated my Facebook and perused through past albums. I completely forgot that I actually have TWO albums dedicated solely for Twilight *oh dear gods*. I also used to do surveys on Facebook to pass time, and lacking creativity, I chose to quote books that I am currently reading at the time, hence there were one too many posts referencing Twilight. But I mean, that's just exhibit A. I am also known to indulge in romcom Asian dramas.  AND FINE, I also have read all Fifty Shades Trilogy way faster that I'd like to admit. 

I think the impossibleness of the very generic plot of helpless, plain, girl being saved by the masculine, beyond-handsome rich guy is what's appealing to it. And not appealing in a sense that I wish I could be the protagonist in the story, I mean appealing in a sense that I like imagining the many different ways I would react had I been the love interest. 

September 21

Spontaneous hookah session with the Kuya and his friends. Shisha in a elevation training mask? Why not?

September 22

In celebration of Baby Bill's graduation, mother threw a house party. Didn't get any pictures but here's Aso being abused with kisses and cuddles by everyone:

 

September 24

Running around the house looking for my keys, when I was told that DP actually had them from the party the weekend before. Went to her house un-showered and barely awake. We were chatting on her kitchen when she realized this:

Her cellphone case and my sweater exactly match.

 

September 27

Hi, my name is Elle Are Emm and I have hungry eyes. Bad, bad, BAD habit that must  stop. But hey, I didn't eat the whole day so when we came out to a really late dinner, I just had to order 4 things on the menu. 

September 28 

Ulam was running low on provisions, with the mother's help, we actually managed to find this place where they sell hay in truckloads. 

 

September 29

The evening was off to a great start: sunny but not hot, and people were over all pleasant and more than agreeable. 

Might be slightly illegal, but I my night was made TWICE. 1) Random man offered me his expired transit ticket, and upon realizing his mistake, he actually bothered to walk back to give me his recent one. 2) two young man offered their transit seats to children. See these things does not happen very often in my presence, so it's definitely a GMH moment.

MF is currently taking a music class in her University. Part of the program is to regularly attend concerts/opera, she gets to bring one other person and since she's a student, she gets awesome discounts. 

I was a flautist all throughout high school where we had the opportunity and honour to perform in various locations and functions. Needless to say I appreciate music even though I have very little knowledge of it. This concert chilled me to the bones and it made me gapped-mouth in wonder throughout.  

Ahhh, bathroom graffiti's at it's finest.  Anyway, after the concert, we stopped by a very disappointing creperie where we saw and had a brief conversation with DJ. 

At the station where we were waiting for JB  and LG, we bumped into an old classmate. And all I can say is, dannng puberty did you well good sir.   As if my night and mood can't get any better right? Since it was still relatively early for a Saturday, I invited them over to my place where the Kuya and his friends were having a scary movie marathon. 

September 30 

Went to a family dinner party after finally dropping off my form in school. Then watched The Mistress 

The return of a very bitchy dog. For some reason, this dog has never liked me =/

 

-Elle Are Emm

3am and I may or may not have reactivated my Facebook once again and gone on an unfriending spree. I have recently been entertaining the idea of permanently reactivating my Facebook more and more. But we'll see.

I was going to finish my blog post for September, but for old time sake, I shall fill out this survey which I used to frequently do when I used to have Facebook

 

*****

1. When was the last time you swam in a pool?
LONGG TIME AGO. I don't even remember! I used to swim like a fish as a kid, but I started disliking it because of body issues. Got over it. But now I'm visually impaired and it's very disorienting not to wear glasses. Wearing contacts isn't an option for swimming though. 

2. Do you like to party?
Impartial

3. If your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do?
I would have to get an ex first (lol some things never change)

4. You seeing someone?
Nope

5. What are your parents views on sex?
Not before marriage

6. If you ran into your current crush in 10 years would you marry them?
Which one? LOL! There has been one too many. But sure, I'll marry any one of them 

7. Is your best friend dating anyone?
Most of my good friends are in a relationship

8. Describe the shirt you’re wearing.
Grey and old

9. Do people who wear Hollister and Abrerbrombie every day bother you?
No

10. Could you go out in public without wearing make-up?
I rarely wear makeup

11. What is one feature that you don’t like?
On me? My very acne prone skin

12. Would people describe you as happy?
Sure, though I don't think that would be the first adjective that'll come to mind when describing me

13. Are you single?
NBSB 

14. Does it bother you that pretty much every survey you take asks if you’re single?
No. Though it is pointless

15. Do you have Tumblr?
Yes. But it's been inactive for some years now

16. What about Xanga?
LOL! I'm on it now

17. Have you ever babysat before?
Yes

18. Is there a teacher who you absolutely hate?
Naw

19. Ever shopped at Sephora?
Yes

20. If your current partner suddenly moved away what would you do?
If I had a partner, and they move away I'd let them (?) 

21. Do you have any university plans?
Yes

22. If your best friend revealed she was a homosexual, what would you do?
"I've always known"
23. What are your views on sex?
Sex is a normal, biological process needed for any species survival

24. Do sexual questions bother you?
No. Not really

25. Would you rather have sex with your partner or break up?
What? This question doesn't even make sense

26. Have you ever dreamed about your wedding?
'Fcourse

27. Does it bother you when people TYpe 1yk dis’? Nd stuff?
FUCK YES

28. Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook?
Literally not a concern for me

29. Would you ever date a friends Ex?
Most likely not. Unless they dates in like Gr 6 or something. LOLOL

30. What’s the last book you read?
Sinner -Sara Douglass

31. Ready for 10 simple questions?
Bring it

32. What is your last name?
Malbataan

33. What grade are you in?
Grade college

34. What school do you go to?
WCCMT

35. Summer, Fall, Winter or Spring?
Fall

36. Favorite Color?
Black and white

37. Are your parents together?
Always and forever

38. Any siblings?
Two

39. Favorite subject?
English and biology

40. Least favorite subject?
Case FUCKING study

41. Favorite song?
None

42. Okay. Simple questions are over. Happy?
... it was never complex...

43. How many friends do you have on Facebook?
2-300+? IDK

44. Ever been requested by some old guy from another country?
No

45. Have you ever googled yourself?
Yes

46. Have a Formspring?
Yes

47. You’re offered free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. What do you do?
Wait til the day before the concert then resell it 4x it's price

48. Would you rather spend the day at an amusement park or a water park?
At home

49. Been to Disney world?
No.

50. If someone posts their status “9 Inches ” do you know what they mean?
No.

51. Ever had a boyfriend?
No.

52. Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know?
Yes LOLOLOL

53. Have you done something in the last week that you regret?
Yes

54. Ever drank alcohol?
Yes

55. Know anyone who’s currently doing drugs?
Yes

56. Ever watched The Hills?
No

57. What about Jersey Shore?
No

58. Ever called someone a slut?
As a joke

59. What do you think of short shorts?
Assss...hmmnnn

60. Does it bother you if people swear around you?
When literally every other word is a swear word

61. Have you ever gotten an A in a subject?
Yes

62. What about a B?
Yes

63. And a C?
Yes

64. How about a D?
It's not the same as "F" right? What the hell is a "D"? I was never clear on that 

65. Ever plagiarised?
To some degree

66. Would you consider yourself popular and outcast or somewhere in the middle?
I consider myself friendly and surrounded by good company

67. Are most of your friends older or younger than you?
Older. Not by much though

68. Ever been stabbed In the back by a close friend?
Yes 

69. Do you think it’s immature when people laugh at the number 69?
Depends on the situation 

70. Ever watched Porn?
Yes. Welcome to the internet

71. How many laws do you think you’ve broken in the past month?
Going over the speed limit. 

72. Do you wake up with an alarm clock?
Only when I need to

73. Do you prefer Wednesdays or Thursdays?
Fuck Wednesdays

74. If your school had a Glee Club would you join?
FUCK NO

75. Ever performed in a talent show?
I'm talentless

76. Have you ever cried in public?
Probably

77. Do you have a favorite between your Mom and your Dad?
Not preference per se, I just have a different relationship with my Dad seeing as I'm the sole girl

78. Would you audition for a reality talent competition?
Talentless

79. How many celebrity crushes have you had?
Too many to count

80. How many non-celebrity crushes have you had?
Even more than celebrity crushes

81. Name 5 male celebrities who you think are attractive.
Off the top of my head: Tom Welling, Jason Statham, Brad Pitt, Hugh Dancy, Matt Damon. 

82. Name 5 female celebrities who you think are attractive.
Again, off the top of my head: Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston, Megan Fox, Christina Hendrix, Kirsten Kruek

83. Ever been compared to a celebrity?
No

84. Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook?
Each and every single one

85. Do you think spending 20$ on Lip Gloss is a waste of money?
Yes

86. Ever used Opinionated?
Don't even know what that is

87. Do you have a favorite store?
Any food store

88. Would you ever wear Flare Jeans?
Sure

89. Do you own jeans that aren’t skinny?
Yes

90. Have you ever worn the same outfit twice in one week?
Probably

91. What’s the longest period of time you’ve been away from school?
A summer

92. Do you google abbreviations you don’t understand?
Yes

93. Does it bother you when people have cats as their profile picture?
Why should it?

94. Own a pair of converse?
No

95. Is there a teacher at your school who has obvious favorites?
Probably

96. If yes, are you one of them?
LOL. No

97. Do you text in class?
Yes

98. What brand of jeans do you wear the most?
Not very particular with brands

99. At what point do you think sizes are “Plus Sized?” Most magazines say 10. Do you agree?
If there is any less than "Not giving a shit" then that's how much I care for this question

100. Do you want to lose weight? 
I want to be healthy *answers this with  KitKat in mouth at 4am*

101. Ever seen a therapist?
Physio Therapist?

102. Ever watched porn?
Already answered this

103. Ever purposely ignored a text?
For the time being. Eventually answer it

104. A facebook message?
No. I don't think so

105. A poke?
Yes

106. A friend request?
Probably

107. Would you say you read into things too much?
Used to

108. Is your best friend more likely to be the one suggesting something stupid or refusing to do something stupid?
I'm the instigator

109. Do you have a “fun friend?” (A friend who you have tons of fun with but you never really have deep conversations?)
Naw

110. Ever been called a bully?
LOLOLOL

111. Ever purposely hurt yourself?
Yes

112. Ever gone to church?
Yes

113. Would you call either or your parents screw ups?
Hell no

114. If you turned out exactly like your Dad would you be pleased?
More than pleased :')

115. What about your Mom?
I am like my mom to a degree, that's why we clash 

116. Let me guess… You have brown hair?
Wrong, fucker

117. Already know what you’re being for Halloween?
Kind of

118. Do you still go Trick or Treating?
No 

119. Ever liked someone WAY older than you?
HAHAHA. Yes. David Caruso, Liam Neeson 

120. Does it bother you when people have really loud conversations on the bus?
Only when I'm reading

121. When you have sunglasses on, do you stare at people?
Yes LOLOL

122. Ever had a credit card denied?
No *knock on wood

123. What’s the last movie you watched?
Haven't finished watching Hysteria 2011

124. Last TV Show?
Don't remember. Don't watch much tv

125. You see your Ex making out with one of your friends. What do you do?
Highly improbable

126. Ever been called a whore?
Jokingly

127. Ever sang the national anthem?
Yes

128. Ever made yourself throw up?
Yes. One too many drinks =/

129. Have you ever kissed someone who wasn’t your Partner?
No

130. Are you Cute or Gross?
Again, what in the actual fuck? 

131. Does it bother you when people say “LOOK HOW MUCH YOU’VE GROWN!”
Naww

132. Can you say intelligent things around the guy you like?
LOL NO! I get flustered around crushes

133. Ever had the lead in a play?
No

134. What about a solo in a concert?
Kind of

135. What kind of a student are you?
Procrastinating kind

136. Worst grade you’ve ever gotten with a Letter?
F

137. Worst grade you’ve ever gotten with a number?
36%?? Didn't go to my finals worth 60%

138. Ever had a crush on a teacher?
Yes :X

139. Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant?
Yes, specially since she has her tube tied

140. How late do you sleep in?
I can sleep for dayssss

141. Do you edit your profile pictures before posting them?
Naww

142. Be 100% honest. Do you have any friends who are uglier than you?
No

143. Do you believe in all that inner beauty crap?
Yes

144. Would you consider yourself a good student?
LOLOLOL

145. Does it bother you when Surveys ask “Did you like this survey?”
Eh

146. Salty, Sweet, Sour or Spicy?
Nix the sour, I'll take everything else

147. Are you going into High School this year?
Nope

148. What about Junior High?
Nope

149. What is one thing someone could say to you right now that would make you cry?
Bad news. IE: death *knock on wood

150. Last question. How many unread messages are in your phone?
1

 

-Elle Are Emm

I want to start vlogging. It looks fun 

 

Here we go again with the lack of blogs

September 08

First short, mini road trip; crossed the border to Seattle with the fam. Though crammed, it was still nice as we haven't been spending quality time together in a really long time.

 

 Baby J and Aso

Had to ask the friends to stay over and periodically check in on the babies for the weekend.

 Coffee for the road. No breakfast. Left the house at 6am

Pretty much what the car ride consisted of.

Had breakfast along the way. Hit up Tulalip outlet where I purchased these: 

No I do not watch, nor care for the Kardashians, hence I was very much pleasantly surprised when I found myself falling in love with this unisex scent. 

Made it to out hotel around 1pm. Just in time for lunch!

 
Space Needle

A short walk and a little bit of sight seeing around the sea wall heading to our lunch destination

Infamous Crab Pot. I don't know, I might just be bias because I don't care for sea food, but I found this place highly overrated, not to mention overpriced. 

Seattle architecture. The handful of times I've been to Seattle, and the couple of times I've visited their down town, I've always had the same impression, and that is, their architecture is...lacking. I'm just not impress. But hey, what do I know right, it's not like I've toured every major city on  earth. 

So then, we walked off our lunner, and visited the market because my brother thought it's bustling vicinity is very reminiscent to the markets we have in the home land, and had wanted to show it to the parents. 

I was just very happy when the brother lead me here. I felt right at home amidst all these used books. I might have spent more than I intended too, and would have continued browsing if I wasn't already tired from the day's excursion. Well, and also everyone else was getting impatient waiting for me. Here are my purchase:

I actually purchased Wicked for DP. It happens to be her favourite book and when I saw it, it instantly reminded me of her. I remember the days when I was strongly against purchasing books, mostly because I frequent the library and I also don't see the point of re-reading books as I'm already aware of it's story; the suspense is gone. But as time goes on, I found myself exposed to wonderfully written literature that are definitely worth investing money in.

Indeed.

 

More sightseeing. I don't remember the last time I've walked this much. Smart choice of footwear, Toms are. 

Here baby Bill had a moment. 

[Scene: Walking down a winding stairs, Kuya ahead, myself and Baby Bill lagging after me]

Kuya:  *whining about sore feet

Me: This is why you should but Toms. So comfy

Kuya:  No way, Tom's are for girls and gays. Would you wear Toms Bill?

Bill: *indignant* NO WAY! ONLY GUYS WHO WEAR THEM ARE GAY! [pause]. I heard that you can't hear a girl fart when they wear thongs  because it separates their butt cheeks.

Kuya: The hell are you talking about?

Me: LOLOLOLOL!!! He heard it from Jenna Marbles!

This still makes me laugh (obviously nothing's funny about either of my brothers being homophobic, but the situation itself was hilarious). 

 

Very nostalgic. I was quite surprise that  recognize this place. First time I've been here was for my senior band trip back in 09. Of course, at that time, I was technically not in band any more. It makes me very sad that I'm not that eager girl any more. That girl would have been very disheartened to know that her future self is making this blog at this time in present not having achieved what she set out to do *sigh* 

 

Here are the '09 pictures that I took. Very nostalgic indeed:

I actually had to reactivate my long deactivated facebook and scour through my albums for these. Hmmnn, memories.

 

Off to shop in the evening:

As soon as I laid my eyes on this, I knew I had to get it! I LOVE CAPES!!!! I literally wore it around the store as I was browsing.

Well, that escalated quickly. 

Let this be known as the day I had to ask someone -my mom in this case- to boot alcohol for me from the supermarket. At 20, I never had to ask anyone to buy me alcoholic drinks (drinking legal age in Canada is 19, 21 in the USA), but I was too amused that the drinks were displayed right beside the ice cream freezer to pass on the opportunity,

Who works out during a vacation? Baby Bill does. This boy just cannot  stay away from the gym.

 

September 09

More driving, more food, more shopping. This weekend was purely dedicated to splurging.

Last stop of the weekend: Duty Free

As soon as I saw it, I knew he would want it. The sucker is bigger than either of our head. Probably weigh the same amount too.

Chocolate coma; only coma worth being in

Alcohol poisoning anyone?

 

September 10

 

 

Due to some conflict with delivery, I actually had to drive down to pick up my tablet from Fed Ex. Not complaining because it was a very pleasant evening drive with the father. 

 

September 12

Met up with these two for some good ol' K-BBQ

The world exploded because they -notorious wearer of bottoms that doesn't cover much- were both wearing pants...at the same time! 

 

September 13

Accompanied LG on an errand CB sent her to do: to conduct a Craigslist transaction in the busy street of Downtown Vancouver.

It was sunny and we pretty much had the rest of the day to ourselves. So we met up with AP and tried out this Thai restaurant. Food was good, but the server could be a little less nosy. 

 

September 15

What do you get when you combine DP and a free reign to my closet? This:

And I really don't know how to explain the following photos, just know that at some point, my mom walked in on them in a very compromising position.

Pure judgement and disapproval on my dog's face.

 

September 16

Was invited and attended a gay party of DP's friends'. Yeahp, she's a fag hag -_-

 

I actually hadn't wanted to go since they had intended to go clubbing. This explains why I felt very standoffish that night and had reports coming back to me the next day of having scared off the straight guys that were there with my remarks. Funny, that they would be scared of my verbal abuse when it was DP throwing punches when alcohol passed through her system. And I guess, the fact that I volunteered to be the designated driver to get out of drinking didn't really help ease my inhibitions. Though I did eventually come around nearing the end of the night. 

 

September 16

Woke up to the brother and friends having a last hurrah to summer by having a small bbq in the backyard

They spontaneously got the idea to chip in and purchase a hookah.  It was such a beautiful for late summer, so I decided to stick around,

I really don't know why I didn't spend more time with a book out in the sun. 

 

September 17

With CB  and LG. Dinner afterwards at Bubble World, but was still early so LG and I decided to kick it at DP where we unintentionally spent the night. She was sick and got me sick for the rest of the week. 

 

September 18

 

Since we already spent the night over, we decided to have breakfast at IHop at White Rock

 

September 20

Mexican dinner with le mother + errands. 

 

September 21

Baby Bill finally, officially, graduated high school. Strange school is strange as it doesn't hold its graduating ceremony until the fall after the last semester, which I guess is nice. It gives a small glimpse of what people in your graduating year will be up to the next following years. Admittedly, I was quite bitter seating in my brother's commencement.  I just really  though I would be in a different place in my life by this time, but hey, it hasn't been all for nothing, I have taken away a few lessons from these past years. In any case, I think I was just too nervous and bored during my own ceremony because I don't remember any of the speeches that took place, now I wish I had paid more attention.

Celebratory Greek dinner after. Though we weren't complete because the  Kuya had an afternoon to evening shift for work. Actually, it was only at my graduation ceremony when the whole family was complete. 

 

Bored of this. Will continue later

 

-Elle Are Emm

 

...wait...WHAT?!

 

Thursday, Sept 6

That's it, my tablet finally gave in on me. Ironic too, because the moment after I sent a text to a friend yesterday, proclaiming not having a clue how I spent my life before I purchased a tablet, it promptly lagged; I shut it off and it never turned back on. Google proved no help, so I went on the Acer website and after an infuriating chat with a customer representative "help" online, I was told that I could send in my tablet for repair as it is still covered under warranty.

Seriously, there customer rep have no idea what they are doing!  They're knowledge are limited to repetitive protocols that aids no one 99% of the time. I don't blame them, nor do I belittle the fact that aside from their training they spoke minimal English as they are usually situated on an impoverish country for the most part. I mean, I highly admire the fact that these big time companies create jobs to third world countries by bringing their business there. It's a win-win right? Companies save money, and jobs are created for those who need them.

Truth be told though, these employees minimal knowledge in trouble shooting only serves to annoy customers like me. I find their scripted response extremely condescending. I mean, repeatedly telling me that you "understand your concern" but asking me the same information over, and over, and over again is really, really, really... *sigh

Anyway, it turns out the repair depot is a mere 20=30mins drive. Though I also had the option of just shipping my tablet, and ship it I did. CB works for Puralator, hence she was able to ship it for me for 3.50$

Now, I am face with a dilemma of what to do with my not-so-spare-time. Or at the very least, how I would kill time for our mini family road trip on Saturday. As a solution, I visited the library to borrow books that I've been reading on my tablet. I almost forgot how at home I feel amid all those bound text. One of these days, I'm going to muster the energy to volunteer at a local library.   

 

Korean BBQ earlier dinner with the mother after I picked her up from work. I  swear, I could eat Korean BBQ at least once a day!

I also bough some vegetable for Ulam. Then this happened:

As you can see, I have a very peculiar dog. He's quite confuse really, he doesn't quite now which species he belongs in. He has the mannerism of dog, cat, monkey, human and now a rabbit. But hey, at least they're bonding.

This also happened. Between Aso and Ulam -that's 2 sets of sharp claws/nails- I have battle scars everywhere. The perils of being an animal owner.

 

Friday, Sept 7

Daddy's home for his 5 day break from a 10 day work week. And with him, he brought a Cuban cigar his Mexican co-worker gifted him.

So this happened:

I did half expect to get in trouble for smoking, or at least get reprimanded. But I guess we're all big boys/girl now. Actually, as the three of us were passing the cigar around, le father came out to join.

Bet you wish your dad was half as cool as mine.

Now, I have no more qualms about my long desire to purchase a hookah set

 

This man, my father teaches me about life with every breath he takes. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't feel beyond blessed to have him in my life. It regularly overwhelms me how he and my mother affect me spiritually and mentally. 

 

Lesson #2314: Do not take life so seriously

As opposed to acting annoyed by a telemarketer like majority of the people in the world would, he decided to troll this particular one by having a half an hour long conversation and mock-courtship. The only reason he hanged up the phone was because my mother called and wanted to be picked up. But actually, ditching the phonewould be more appropriate, because that's exactly what he did; he excused himself, placed the phone on the ground and promptly exited the house. 

Not only did he amused himself, he also ensured that those telemarketers would think twice before giving us a phone call again. 

-Elle Are Emm

 

In all technicality, that would actually be last night.

 

But I digress. 

 

Cutting my hair to such a short length and pretending to be a lesbian has all been fun and games within my group my friends, but I don't think I've properly explain myself as to what my actual motive is. In the surface, I can easily and honestly say that it wasn't such a big decision as some people make it out to be; after all, it is just hair. Or to me at least. In a year's time, if I feel so inclined, I could grow out my hair to it's usual flowing length. 

I am also in a stage where I need a change of sorts. A change that doesn't actually deviate from who I am, but rather, a change that will enable me to grow into myself.  I don't know if that makes sense, but I'm 20; I'm lost and confuse. Never have I ever felt like a kid more than I have been lately and I really just want/need to gain back a semblance of control, feign confidence that I lack to get by and surface from this with as much of me left in tact as I could manage. 

I hadn't realize that cutting my hair would be this symbolic to me until after the fact, it really just felt like the thing to do. And in doing so, I just feel that much more empowered; as though I had shed a part of that little long-black-haired-girl me.  This short new cut represent me in ways that I've never been represented before. It represents me now, and it represents who I've always been, both physically and mentally. 

There's that. And of course, there is also my fascination to gender bending.

Ah, gender bending. I always explode into a fragmented, revering ramble when this topic comes up. Even now, I am starting to get excited beyond comprehensible words. It's just....just... *sigh*

The medical, biological, and sociological aspect of it completely fascinates me. It's the ultimate FUCK YOU to gender standards society set; biologically, it reiterates how malleable and manipulable the human body is; and of course, the advancement in medical technology, with regards to this matter, that has and is being made, is an entirely different story in itself. 

 I'll leave it at that for now, before I launch onto any more fervour fuelled babble. 

In any case, lately, the friends have been having fun stitching an elaborate story - to tell others- of how each of them have been/ are my lovers for their own amusement, that I was starting to feel my ovaries shrink and be slowly replaced by testicles. So tonight, for JW birthday dinner at Cactus Club on English Bay Beach,  I was determine to look like a lady. 

Obligatory food picture post.

I was -at no one's surprise, I'm sure- late. By the time I arrived, they ( JW, KK, AA as well as two of JW's friends) were already seated at the patio with a beautiful view of the beach and it's surrounding areas. We were only there for a couple of hours, and because most of them have obligations the next day, we ended it at that. 

AA actually drove, but seeing as she could only have 4 passengers, I volunteered to transit home by myself. It was a good night, so I didn't mind at all. Besides, I've noticed that I've been driving/or getting driven around a lot lately. In any case, iit gave me an opportunity to catch up on my reading. 

Asymmetrical dress. Did the job just fine. Excuse this moment of superficialness, but I adored how the tail end of the dress move and flew in the wind with every step I took. I felt feminine all right. 

The best part? Is that finally allowing myself dress in dresses and shorts comes with the realization that I'm out growing body image issues that I've had all my life. 

Sure, self esteem issues has never been a big part of who I am, but admittedly they were/are still there. I'm just one of  the imperfect lucky ones to recognize that body image isn't everything. 

 

And yes, that is a white bra in the background

 

-Elle Are Emm

Saturday, September 1

Long weekend Labour Day camping. It was half spontaneous trip that Ate Babilonia planned out a few weeks prior, just to commemorate Summer 2012. Apparently, everyone else had the same thing in mind, because I had about two other party invite for the same weekend, seeing as it is the last weekend before school starts again.

 

We left  for Manning Park; Mule Deer camp ground the evening before, so by the time we got to our camp site it was already dark. But here are pictures the morning after. 

Meaty breakfast. YUM

Dispersing as we brush out teeth with river water

Gorgeous clear, ice-cold  water. Though the river's current was quite strong that I lost the other pair of my slipper crossing it to gather wood for our fire.

 

d

Don't be fooled by the sunshine! IT WAS COLD! But yes, this was out camp site. We were mere meters away from the river.

Apparently, the evening before we arrived, our camp mates , who had gone ahead to set up, spotted a brown bear, left of that tent!. So there entire time we were there, every one was on the look out for one.

 

Sunday, September 2

The night before wasn't as bad. And of course, the weather was wayyy better too! We were packed and ready to leave by noon. Some people headed home, while some had stayed to visit a park called Lightning Lake where we can rent row boat/canoe and of course KAYAK!!!!!! 

It was still windy, but beautiful day nonetheless.

We had to wait quite a bit since all their boats seems to have been rented out already. But it was worth it to me as long as I can get out there on a kayak.

As soon as I had a scope of the lake, I knew that I needed to get to the other end. Take note of that area where the trees seem to converge left of where that boat is. 

There were five of us in total who stayed. I was fifth wheeling, which was fine by me and actually worked really well in my favour. I don't like canoes or row boats -which each respective couple chose to do- and I don't like kayaking with others. 

Closer view of that converging area I had indicated earlier. As I got closer to it, I realize that it may have been a man-made lake. At the very least, it wasn't always a lake seeing as, it was actually quite shallow, and on even shallower areas, you can see tree stumps etc. 

Viewing from the dock, I actually thought that this lake was enclosed and I had a vision of us on top of a mountain, of which it's tip is hallowed to make space for this lake. 

As I got closer, I started seeing people. I then realize that the surrounding of the lake is actually a trail.

What was even more astounding, is as I rounded the lake bend, it opened up to this  beautiful area. It was quite a treat! We only had an hour with our boats, and by this time I'd already consumed half an hour. It was such a shame, I would have liked to explore some more, but I only got to about just pass the bridge. 

Beautiful British Columbia indeed. 

Happy camper.  I don't know what it is about kayaks that I love so much. I'm not even really good at it. Maybe it's the momentary, care-free solitude, maybe it's the independence -I could get to my destination on my own at my own pace-, or maybe it's the scenery of places that usually comes along with kayaking. Regardless, I hope one day, I could acquire a kayak I can call my own.

As we headed down the mountain, thus effectively recovering cellphone reception, a few text messages came through my phone. One of which gave me a sick feeling in my stomach: there had been miscommunication  lack of communication rather, and DP was unable to make it to my house to feed Ulam. I tried to make a joke of the situation, but I was extremely worried. By my calculation, Ulam, my new bunny, would have gone a day with no food and water. How absolutely irresponsible of me . When I got home early evening, I rushed to my room only to remember that I locked my door, and I left my keys with my mother to give to DP. Though bless her heart, because even when she objected to take of what she calls my "rat", she actually provided him with water (she didn't know where I stored his food). 

 

HURRAH!

 

Monday, September 3

Mommy Babilonia's surprise birthday party! and I was left to pick out flowers for her. Oh oh

How'd I do?

After having a quick dinner, we stayed and do nothing at the Babilonia's residence, as per usual.

Later though, I received a very worried phone call from the mother. Apparently, Aso was sick again, so as opposed to sleeping beside her, he had to rest downstairs in the spare room, so he doesn't make a mess in our bedrooms.

I couldn't help it; I felt really bad, so I ended up accompanying him in the spare room. As soon as I lay down, he promptly cuddled up on my belly, where he was making whimpering, pained noises :'(

But boy, does that dog bounce fast! Like Ulam, Aso baby is all better. 

 

HURRAH! HURRAH!

 

-Elle Are Emm

 

 

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y279/sw33t1e/Xanga%20Weblog%20Pictures/090220121529.jpg

August 23

Sushi and errand ran with DP. Nagoya was a big disappointment. 

DOOBY! The GOLDEN RETRIEVER ! ZOMG! 

Play date and baby's first time at a dog park. Was a major fail because he's anti social and tried to dominate other BIG dogs as though he wasn't the size of a common sewer rat. Boy, who do you think you are? 

So Babsie, DC and I just ended up baking these super yummy chocolate crinkles. Well Babsie did, both of us were just there for the company. 

Then we talked...and talked...and talk. Until we realized at around 11 PM that we actually haven't had anything to eat Girly chat at it's finest!

Pho it is! Though we just barely made it on time seeing as they were actually closing in ten minutes. Luckily, they were nice ladies and let us order to go. 

 

August 24

Fish and chip with the mother! Which was also a disappointment... Man!  food has been disappointing me a lot lately 

Then I received a text from Babsie informing me that I could choose to pick up Ulam the rabbit a day early. I mean, why would she even tell me this is an option?! So off we went! 

Mr. Bunners the dad. First of many rabbit that I saw originally. He doesn't look real right?!

The bunnies feeding! They had gotten so big the last two weeks since I saw them!

And finally....

ULAMMMM! aka my new baby! To be honest I was actually very unprepared, but because of my own impatience and excitement, I couldn't wait to bring this little sexless (can't tell their sex til after 3 months) baby home. Thankfully though, his owners have stack of spare bedding and hay. So I had my starter at least. 

 

August 25

Slowly introducing Aso with Ulam. It's quite hard what with Aso being a very curious hyperactive dog. I'm honestly worried that he might take a swipe at the bunny when I'm not looking. At this time though, I'm just focus on not making him excluded. 

My children :")

Was also invited to attend a friend's birthday, where I was convinced to gay club...then club hop, seeing as the original club we went to was actually hosting an event with special guest DJs; heterosexuals heavily outweighed the homosexuals. Surprisingly, I had fun. I've always been curious on what the "gay scene" would be like, especially due to the following reasons:

1) Drag queen

2)Infamous free condoms and lube

The latter I managed to grab a handful of as souvenirs, but there weren't any drag shows that night in the three different clubs we rotated to. Hence, my night was only half accomplished. 

**Note to self: take a picture of condom collection....uhhhh, THAT sounded skeezy, but really it's an inside joke. 

The birthday celebrant was also very generous and had paid for all expenses that night. So all in all, I spent $12.50 which was from cab and transit fee. Whao..that's must be the least amount I've ever spent on a night out. 

I was actually quite apprehensive at first seeing as I really dislike clubs, and I do apologize for my ignorance, but believing the stereotype of gays being highly vain and judgemental, I even forced myself to wear "proper" club attire. Its ridiculous, but I felt highly exposed in my pencil skirt, heels and see through shirt. Then,  we rode the Skytrain, and seeing as it's a Saturday, 2nd to the last weekend before school officially commence, there were flocks and flocks of girls dressed down even more than I am. So for the first time that night, I feel clothed. 

I know I promised myself that I wasn't going to try any other donair/shawarma place other than the one I've been frequenting since I was in grade 8, however not having anything to eat before we'd gone drinking/dancing the night away, I/we were pretty desperate. And it just so happened that there was this small donair shop conveniently located next to the club. Well, as turned out, my suspicions were right: this donair could have been nothing but a disappointment.  

Oh yeah...This happened. A photographer had signalled for a friend and I to pose for a picture. I actually didn't expect it to be published, but wondering if it did I checked on the website and under photos of events, there was this photo. Hey, at least I'm sober, decent and clothed. 

 

After thought: Maybe I felt more like being sociable that night which brought a false sense of comfort, but to be honest, I didn't think it was any different that "straight club" You have people dancing, grinding, bumping, making out, getting drunk and just having fun. Although it was sexually charge in a different way than a straight club would be. Regular clubs make me feel uncomfortable because for me, it's a place where people hook up (of course this is a big generalization, but it's true nonetheless), but I found that in the gay clubs that we went to, the crowd is a bit older and you generally just get left alone. 

 

August 26

Yes it took awhile  but I was finally able to get Ulam a few more of his necessities. Although I soon found out that cages go anywhere from 70-100$, me being a broke student settled to buy a litter tray and proceeded to fashion a makeshift cage for him. In any case, since Ulam is a lone rabbit, I do not intend to cage him. Mr Bunners is actually a house bunny who is left to frolic around as he wish, so I just got a tip from his owners and I was told that one way of potty training Ulam is to keep him caged in one area for about 2 weeks until it is familiarized with its own area then I can proceed to let him be essentially free. 

 

In the evening, we had unexpected visitors which included these two cuties. My father's aunt, uncle and niece (the two kids pictured above are her children) dropped by. They were actually who we had stayed with for a couple of nights when we first arrived here nearly 10 years ago. We lost contact, and I personally haven't seen them in more than 7 years (?). Such a shame too; it's not like they live very far. It's heart breaking because I remember the big family gatherings that we would have back home, and I thought that having relatives here would have a semble to that. But alas, we were too new and different (at the time at least). 

Strange how time seem to run slowly and next thing you know ten years has passed. When we came here, my dad's niece would have been 4 years older than I am today. Now, she has a 5, 2 and a 4 months old. I wasn't sure how I should interact with her, because though she's 15 years older than me, I am no longer the child she met 10 years ago. This is very mind boggling. 

Anyway, I found these two darlings very endearing. Though I have seen them very briefly once some years ago, this was the first time I've interacted with them.

My father's aunt is actually my darling grandma's elder sister. They are so a like in appearance and mannerism that it made me miss her, miss them.  As much as I try to deny it (due to reasons too long to explain in this post), I crave family very much. Moments like these makes me feel void inside *sigh*

 

 Anyway, I've pretty much caught up. These past three days had been very uneventful aside from seeing Expendables 2    
technically two days ago (on Tuesday, August 28) with the whole family.  Uneventful it maybe but Tuesday was one of my bipolar days. I just felt so angry at everyone and everything (no! I am/was not pmsing) it's hard to explain now given that the emotion has -mostly- passed. But I think I just need to be alone for a while, wean out this anger, as not to accidentally snapped at anyone. 

 

-Elle Are Emm