I feel like so sociable tonight. I know what I'm about to blog is supposedly normal occurrence, but you have to understand, every since I started mass texting, I've been glued to my phone pretty much 24 hrs a day. Somehow, that makes it okay to avoid human contact that can potentially be "awkward". So tonight, I managed to hold a conversation with a classmate I've never talked to, and while waiting for the bus, I've managed to actually enjoy and be comfortable chatting up with a stranger. Probably helps that she's so personable. What a shame that I'll probably will never see her again. If only I had facebook I'd  have probably asked, I just though it'd be weird to ask for her number. Anyway, one step at a time right?

I have to get over my awkwardness! I actually think I made myself awkward even more.

-Elle Are Emm

So the past week, I have been faced with a minor problem that I am taking to heart. As I have mentioned, I recently finished volunteering at the Body World Exhibit, however, I am not sure if I have mentioned the part where I --unexpectedly-- got "promoted" as a team leader. Of course, during the duration of my time as the team leader volunteer, not everything went as I had wanted it to-- which I did expect--. Often than not, the girls who are in high school, and are in fact volunteering because they need to, would show up late or not at all. Now, as I have predicted, one of them, who I firmly believe was very notorious for ditching, came asking for a reference letter from the Volunteer Coordinator, who in turn asked me to write it for her. 

I honestly deliberated long and hard about this matter, especially since she is applying for a very incredible, potentially life altering scholarship, that I can't even dare to dream of. I didn't want to be that person to ruin this chance for her. Also, before I go on, keep in mind that I truly think highly of these kids, they are just the smartest, high achiever bunch I could only wish myself to be. Even then, I firmly believe that she doesn't deserve a reference letter from me. I did consider taking the easier route and just write it, but how is she supposed to learn? Not only would the letter be fraudulent and dishonest, but how about the other candidate who actually put in the work? To be honest, I don't think my refusing to writing the letter will affect this girl that much (I hope anyway). I think that beside from  this volunteer, she has other experiences and qualifications, enough to fill a few pages of paper and to greatly put my own resume to shame. But I still can't help but feel like the bad guy even though I'm not trying to be. Also, it is very hard to keep justified when the other party is being courteous, apologetic and unoffensive. We'll see how it goes, but I sincerely wish her all the luck in the word.

-Elle Are Emm

PS: Yes, I know and was personally told by a friend that my "problems" are very easy and simplistic. But you know what, I like it that way.

As an attempt to getting back on track with my studies, I decided to stay after school today like how I used to do to get my pre-reading done for tomorrow's class. For some reason, although energy wise, I fared pretty well the first half of the day, my energy started dwindling towards the latter half. Therefore, instead of studying, what I really did was read a paragraph or two then promptly pass out. I'm guessing this also has something to do with my cellphone running out of battery, hence no mass texts to keep me awake and entertained.

Last thing I'd like to complain about before I get started on reading my notes, is how ridiculous expensive text books are. This term, I've decided to actually purchase recommended books and put them to good use. For two texts, I've already spent 160$ and there's at least 4 more I have to get =/.

-Elle Are Emm

Today, January 7, 2011 marked the final day of my Body World volunteer. It was quite an experience that enabled me to learn new things about myself. The past 3 and so months, I've experienced confidence, self doubt, and self reassurance. Who would have thought? Not only that, it also gave me an opportunity to be comfortable with myself to the extent that I felt as though I was living another person's life during those 3 hours/week evening shifts. Although, I may have complained, I actually thoroughly enjoyed the newness of it, not only did I feel responsible, I also felt productive and somewhat mature. It was quite a pleasure getting acquainted to new people, as well as having a small authority over them. Although the title of this post is a bit misleading, I supposed. To be exact nothing has really begun. But hey, it's only January after all, right?

I will sure miss seeing a roomful of adults being very competitive and amused from child themed/oriented equipment, that someone, if they desired to do so, can actually build a sport around it.

-Elle Are Emm

School has just started session, however, as I have mentioned from a previous blog, I hardly feel the motivation to get up and attend classes. However, yesterday was a different sensation all together. Attending my practicum on a school day (last semester my clinic days was on a Saturday) made me feel prideful and a sense of authority washed over me; being there gave me a sense of accomplishment. Having been able to work with actual patient was even more. To be honest, I didn't even think of being back in the clinic again and how it would feel. I think from now on, I just have to keep that in mind to keep me going and motivated.

-Elle Are Emm

Firstly, let me just say that this winter break ended with a bang! Sure, it wasn't as though I was constantly partying the past 2 weeks, but I had a blast spending time with friends, although I still have a few things on my list I'd definitely still want to do.

New Years was pretty mellow. So far, my biggest concern about it is getting used to writing down the new year, otherwise, I don't really know, nor do I have a lot of expectations for the next 365 days.

The last three days, I've found myself constantly out and about, from watching movies (Black Swan) and a very late Pho food trip in Burnaby, to Ramen downtown to Korean hoping (2 separate Korean markets and Korean dinner, yeahp my friends and I are cultured), I would say, over all that it was a good ending to a good year.

Now, of course I've messed up my sleeping patterns from all the sleepless nights watching Korean dramas, that when I went to bed at 9 last night, I woke up at 2 and wasn't able to get back to sleep. So I decided to get up, watch an episode and type up a short blog. *Sigh* Did I mention that school starts today for me? at 8:30 AM nonetheless. I'm not going to lie, but I'm  not ready, for the first time in a long time, I feel very unprepared, and not highly motivated to go back to school. But, I know that I'm going to make it. This isn't going to be like the other times.        

-Elle Are Emm 

People shrinking out of responsibilities. Special circumstances aside, there is NO feasible excuse for ANYONE to be irresponsible. It is both immature and inconsiderate at the same time, especially when one places themselves into that responsibility. I look down on such people. I guess you can say that because of my fair share of encounters with such circumstances, that I have trust issues. I don't trust a SINGLE soul to live up to my expectations, hence I do things myself when I can help it. At least then, I don't have to rely on a second party for anything. Yes, I am both stubborn and commanding, AND I get things done. I think if everyone holds themselves in such regards, that the world would be a better place.

So that I can't be accused of being too bitter, in the spirit of the holidays I shall digress. The past week since I haven't blog has been quite eventful. I shall try to recap the days briefly and as according to my calendar in my phone:

12.23: Ice skating at Robson Square with the co-worker and her brother. I LOVE LOVE LOVE ice skating, even though, admittedly I am terrible at it. Then pub with AA, CB and CB's new man "friend" AJ 

12.24: Christmas Eve, spend the day lounging in the house and watching Star Trek waiting for midnight to roll around. Since I am broke this year, I didn't have the chance to buy the fam any presents, although I got some good ones. Most notably, the very creatively wrapped ipod nano from the Kuya, he hid it in a mixed nuts can, which caused a lot of confusion once I opened it. Plus my dream overpriced pen from the parents

12.27: Was supposed to go ice skating, with CB, JB, AQ, LB but went "ice skating" instead. Ah, the perks of being legal.

12.28:  The much anticipated Year End Party, hosted at my house, it was a good turn out (Approx 40 people), got acquainted with new people and got to see old friends. Even people who I didn't expect to come came. The clean up sucks afterward though, especially since I received no help whatsoever. 

12.29: Pretty much slept the whole day. Still putting off clean up, I loathe vacuuming, it's so obnoxious.

-Elle Are Emm

One thing that you should know about me is that I don't like being put in the middle of things that I don't have anything to do with. Sure, I'll listen to you and give you my own personal opinion. When it boils down to it however, I really could care less about your disposition with respect to the other party involved. Especially if the other said party is also a friend of mine.

Now I am in this extremely awkward spot, for two (or more) completely separate reasons, the group of friends I go around with are splitting right down the middle. Perfect timing you say? Oh, did I forget to mention that I decided to host a year end get together at  my house? Trying to be impartial, I went ahead and informed almost everyone (plus some), now I have a friend complaining to me, and I can't help but get irritated: at her for complaining and for me for being a somewhat of a hypocrite. There are a *few* people I exclusively excluded in my guest list, although it doesn't mean they can't come, I just refuse to send them a personal invite that they will 100% rejected for "better" things anyway. As I see it, I'm just being practical and saving myself the effort and saving them what little face they still have from trying to make a super lame excuse to skip out.

But now, I'm playing scenarios in my head, but really worst comes to, people just aren't going to show up. I don't think a riot will break out in my house. Right?

-Elle Are Emm

I admit that I may just be the biggest stalker you'll ever have the opportunity to meet. However, since deactivating my facebook 3 months ago, my level of stalking activity have obviously been dwindling. It still doesn't stop me from taking interesting pictures of random people off the streets and sending them to my text buddies to share.

That fact just ties into what I'm going to be blogging about. I'm pretty sure I am not the only one who has this experience, in fact, a few friends of mine as well as myself, have decided that seeing someone you are acquainted with is very awkward, especially once you have to get started on the small talk.  But have you ever seen someone you know in a public place, but the acquaintanceship isn't mutual?. Well, to top that off, how about them turning to you to ask you about something, without the knowledge that while you respond, all you're thinking of is every inconsequential details that you know about the them?

YEAHP, pretttttyy darnn awkward if you ask me.

You know what else is awkward? Thinking that you're flirting with a very cute half white- half Japanese genius, with a very gorgeous set of eyes and killer smile, when all it is, is you making tongue-tied, very ungraceful conversation.

How  does one acquire wit?

-Elle Are Emm

Yet another cold, gloomy day. But it's okay, it's actually have been a very pleasant day since somehow I think the weather, plus the impending holiday has been putting everyone around in a very good and generous mood. Which brings me to what I've been meaning to blog about.

Today, I truly understood the concept of the saying "never judge a book by its cover". We're guilty of it subconsciously or consciously, at one point or another in our life. First, let me just set the scene by saying that I was waiting for my ride at a bus loop exchange in Surrey Central, which has been condemned, time and again as a very dangerous place, where one can get mugged, shot and or stabbed at any given hour.  So there was this woman sitting behind me who was talking to a friend, (call me superficial and judgmental but I have to state, for the purpose of this anecdote, that she looked very....unkempt to say the least) I wasn't trying to eavesdrop but since this friend was talking very loud, I was able to hear all the messy, private details of her life which she recounted very casually, almost as if there was nothing to it. Out of nowhere, the lady this friend was talking to turn to the people on the next bench, who looked more able than she did, and handed them 10$ because "they needed it". Of course, these people were very hesitant and was very unsure. The friend then went off to say that she'd "take the money" and that "[she] need it more than they do", that "[her] fiance left her, social service took [her] kid" and that " [she] hasn't eaten in three days". The friend then turn back to the strangers, took back the 10$ bill, hand it over to her friend, then proceeded to give the stranger a solid 20$ bill in lieu of the 10. This got me smiling. Not only that, but soon after the strangers left, a lady handing out fliers approached them to advertise whatever it was she was representing, she was shaking from the cold and this nice lady noticed right away, she then offered to help her out with giving away the fliers so that she could go home as soon as possible. My ride arrived just as that was happening but it really got me thinking how pleasant people have been. I mean just between this and the man who held the sky train door for me this morning so that it wouldn't close before I can safely get in, it really got me pondering the magic the cold weather is bringing.

The only (very small) bummer to my day is loosing my brand new, pink fluffy earmuffs that I highly anticipated for since I ordered it online 2 months ago. Guess you can't have it all.

-Elle Are Emm