July 26, 2013

  • Broken heart and late night stroll

    These past few days has been a mixture of drifting in and out of sleep, and slowly reintegrating myself back with human company. 

    I actually worked a handful of times the last couple of weeks. It turns out that the office has been severely under staff so they turned to me, as they have been known to do. It saddens me that the receptionist spot, which I have been coveting for years has been filled by someone else. What am I to do though, right?

    Since I have always been an on-call staff, nothing that happens in the office has ever really affected me. It turns out that many people are unhappy with multiple things and decided to leave. Hence, the under staff situation. I was actually offered more hours, but I couldn't really be bothered to take them.

    On Thursday 07/18, I did finally saw Babsie and DC after work. We had dinner, then they came over to my place after. During dinner, Babsie had mentioned that Stella and Virgo, two adorable, high energy, 2 year old Rottweiler-Pit bull mix, whom belonged to the same owner as Ulam, had to be put down 2 days  prior due to some unfortunate circumstances. This actually, genuinely saddened -and still saddens- me; they were two of the most beautiful dogs I've ever seen and I couldn't imagine having Aso (who turned 4 yesterday btw!) ever having an untimely departure.  

    What's more, is that on the same day those dogs were being put down, I received a text message of the most grave matter from SJ. To her misfortune, and just as she had formally asked for work sponsorship, she was caught during a random border inspection on her way back from Seattle. I had thought that she was joking, as I did help with drafting a letter she sent to her boss. I didn't actually received a reply from her until two days later. It angers me to no end that she would befall this fate. Not only was she highly under appreciated, that company just flat out took advantage of her.  A sliver of hope is still on the horizon though; she has only been banned to return for a year. Quite frankly, I thought that was very lenient, as I speculated something much, much worst from the get-go. It's really too bad that she waited this long to arrange her affairs, and just as she was, she gets caught.


    Seeing as she is scheduled to leave this Saturday, she asked if we could see each other a couple more times. So on Tuesday, her, IC and myself met downtown. 

    On the way, I dropped by the Great Wall of Tea in New Westminster to restock and to purchase some for SJ to take home. Then we had cupcakes by the beach while waiting for SJ's bf so that we could all have dinner together.  

    We finished dinner around 9PM. IC had somewhere else to be; I didn't, so I stayed and third wheeled for an evening stroll around Stanley Park. It was my first time to walk around the entirety of the park; I wasn't aware, -nor did either of the couple made me aware- at how big the park is. As neither of them uttered a word of protest, I just kept on encouraging us to walk farther. It turns out it was approximately 9 KILOMETERS  in distance,which is quite possibly the longest I've ever traveled by foot on one go. It was a cool, starry night so only time constraint was the issue, because I commuted. We were a little over the halfway mark when I thought to ask how long the path is, and at that point I only had about an hour before the the last train departs. In retrospect, on my part, I also miscalculated and misunderstood the train schedule. Luckily, night buses are available, though to be honest, I was quite unsure even of that. I did toy with the idea of quite possibly killing 4 or so hours at SJ's, just until the train resumes its services again. However, by the time we got back to her place, it was quite apparent that they were both exhausted, and staying too will feel like an intrusion. But hey! I did manage to get around in another country with it's transit system completely foreign to me, I was just a bit worried since SJ's place was some distance away from the bus stop I needed, and from all the years I've lived here, I'm still quite unfamiliar with downtown, no matter how small it is. Thank goodness for data and gps! Dehydrated and sweating, I managed to make it in time. An hour later, I was almost home. As much as I hate spending money on it, I had to take the cab home seeing as regular buses doesn't run for another few hours and calling home is out of the question. 

    The next day, I had the option of going with the older brother to Black Tusk or meet ate LG to study later in the afternoon. Kuya left just as I was tucking myself in bed, also I was starting to feel slight cramping on my calves. Besides, I'd already promised ate LG that day so I slept instead. Teaching someone else something you're quite familiar with is such a strange experience. It just gives a perspective on how much knowledge you've accumulated and retain with regards to that topic. Hmmnnn.

    I had been a little weary that it would get awkward after not seeing any of them for nearly a month, especially when ate DP showed up. See, prior to the trip, we almost spent every waking moment in constant communication or within the company of each other. It wasn't.  Though admittedly on my part, there is still a slight tension as it seems, I still haven't recovered my enthusiasm of sharing every detail of my every day as I was used to. 

    Sadly, when mother picked us up after dinner, she asked when it was that I started speaking to them again. I think I came off defensive when I tried to explain that I didn't actively avoided communication with anybody. But knowing that it was just her motherly concern, and it was in her good intention when she advised me to keep some distance, kept me in check. It's quite sweet really, when I unexpectedly broke down crying the day we came back, she had a very maternal protectiveness about her. In my moment of frailty, I managed to wonder out loud, why the conviction now, and why was it absent when I was picked on when I was younger. Her response was somewhere along this line: "Of course, you're my daughter and I don't want to see you hurt. It was no place for me to intervene between children squabble, but I did confront those other moms' that sided wither their children". I just think that her views on friendship is warped. Ever since, she has tried to instill in us that there is no better friendship, nor anything more worth, other than the ones you make with family. I never really bought it, and now I understand why. Other than the fact that we aren't the closest of family, I feel that family isn't solely exclusive to blood relations. You make and choose family. And you don't break bonds just because you've had a small disagreement. Relationships can be tainted, but just as long as every party is willing to work it out, I don't see any reason not to try. Life is too short to brood over something irrelevant just as good people are too few to be leaving them behind. 



    -Elle Are Emm