August 16, 2011

  • Almost there

    The overwhelming sense of dread took over me late two nights ago as the hour tick and neared Monday. You see, Thursday was my final day of exams, and Monday was when I get to see if I had been unsuccessful. Therefore, although I should have been worried free, I retained this residual paralyzing dread deep in the back of my mind. It was given then, that as soon as Mother Dear inquired about my exam results Sunday evening, that I curled in on myself in the fetal position with my heart thumping hard against my chest, all very literal of course. 

    Monday, I woke up at 6AM, goes to show just how anxious I was. I had about 6 nerve-filled hours to kill before I get to find out just how bad I did. Granted, though I was already resigned, I was hoping against all hopes that another miracle would happen and that a stroke of luck would enable me to do the unimaginable.

    So there I sat on my bed, alternating between playing computer games, folding my pile of laundry, watching Harry Potter and compulsively and obsessively checking the clock. 12PM strikes. I nervously typed in my school's website. As the page load and I scroll down, my tremor and nausea was taken to a whole new level. Moment of truth came, I had the screen covered to cushion the impending shock, and shock  I got when I discovered that I had been successful after all! A wave of relief passed through me even as the tremor and nausea lingered.

    Now, I am again left with an empty feeling of "what now? what's next?" mixed with disbelief that I'm finally almost there.

    And that was my yesterday morning. The afternoon and evening consisted of cleaning up my room, a visit from MF, testing driving theories with her and going for gelato. Now, I can finally relax for the next couple of days.

     

    -Elle Are Emm