May 6, 2012
-
These thoughts in my head
Funny.
Yesterday evening, as I was blogging, a thought, that I’ve always thought was reiterated in my head; my blogs’ content is so irrelevant. I did not dwell on it, because after all , that was my aim. Though I did promise myself that I will blog something that has more content and has more meaning for me.
So here goes.
On this day May 06, 2012 in the late/early hour of 4:27am. I am filled with longing.
Longing for people I’m disconnected with, through my own choosing or otherwise.
Longing for the events that I’ve missed.
Longing for the future I may or may not have.It’s always at this hour, when the rest of the world has fallen into a deep slumber and I peruse the world wide web for nothing of immediate importance.
But what I long for the most that it’s almost nauseating is something exceptionally inexplicable, something so intangible that it fills me with literal, physical pain I sometimes have to roll in a fetal position so that I could recover my breath. That feeling that hits you right in the gut and travels all the way up to your beating heart.
It’s scary, and I’m scared.
I’m scared that there may be something wrong with me. Though what I fear most is that this is all imaginary and self induced. You see, one of the greatest oxymoron about me, is that I do not do well with thing unexplained. The irrationality of the situation does not process well in my mundane brain.
Maybe I need to just sleep it off.
I think I’m going to stop putting off going back to the gym, because god knows, I could really use the endorphin.
-Elle Are Emm
